Tag: travel

my brain is still jumbled

~ NewBeginnings ~ Leave a comment

I just got back from yet another trip 🙂 in 2025 I have been blessed to have experienced Iceland (for the second time!) Ireland, Spain, and Morocco. And while the insight I will share applies to all places, it hits more certain destinations. I think I have blogged about this before when I was living in CA. I went to the beach at least 3-4 times a week, if not every day. I noticed the regulars that gathered in the mornings and afternoons, to walk their dogs and have coffee with friends and acquaintances.. Mind you, I went to the beach a lot my first 2yrs, then much more the last 5 of 12 years I lived there. I learned a lot in my last 5 years, one being how blessed I was to live where I am (more in an aesthetic sense because of the beauty, not the people, cost of living, or any other tangible fact of CA lol). And even in this realization, I had friends who were born and raised in SoCal, close enough to the beach also – who openly admitted they haven’t been in YEARS. YEARS I tell you. I had a friend tell me once, they only came because I lived so close and that’s where I hang out, and well, they would get a moment to see the ocean. I remember being more appalled at the people of CA after that LOL. I realized in my 12 years there, it was all the transplants who really dove into the nature and beauty of the coastline. Locals saw it as a distraction because #Tourists. And honestly, I can understand the annoyance living there myself, and planning my days of when I knew the seasonal people would be gone. However, it never deterred me from the beauty, and the sunsets, and the pretty mornings.

This isn’t to throw stones at CA or the people who live there, (although I am very happy to not live there anymore, lol) my point of this blog post is just sharing yet another realization on how we get desensitized in many aspects of life, not just the news. In all my travels, especially in Iceland, I wondered why people drove so fast. Like are y’all lookin around while you’re driving!? I AM, lol. Magic spews from all the baby fosses (what I like to call small waterfalls), the terrain changes as the miles increase, and the weather is like a toxic ex.. you just never know what you’re gonna get every 5min. This experience, and others alike, reminded me of living here in the US. I have always been one to appreciate nature and trees, and rivers, and lakes, and beaches.. but there always comes a time, like in CA where I’m deterred from the beauty due to “others” lol stomping in, leaving trash, and taking advantage of my parking spots lol. Now, thankfully as a seasoned traveler, I am VERY (prob too much sometimes lol) respectful of other countries, even other states in the US for goodness sake, and am very cognizant of culture. Even just visiting TN, I do all I can to be a part of whatever they consider “home”. Because isn’t that the point of visiting new places? To see a different lens? Maybe learn something.. maybe even adopt something that resonates with your beliefs? I beg those who travel to remember, the world is not here to adapt to YOU, it is YOU that needs to learn to adapt to your surroundings. That being said, In all places I have lived, New England, CA, and TX – I do have to take a step back and remember the local beauty around me.. because that’s why people are visiting. ME, MYSELF and I.. need to stop driving so fast.. and maybe look around a little more because there are many beautiful areas around where I live and some that I have yet to explore myself.

Ireland is probably the one place I have visited where they openly accepted tourists, they practically love them lol. The Irish (in my experience) help people immerse in their culture and the beauty of their country. They are so proud of what they have to offer and I think they find it a blessing that people want to experience it too. Maybe I need to pull that Irish side outa me and remember there are many people like me in the world (at least I want to believe it) who do travel for the appreciation, and the learning, and to see God’s creation.

Just as the title states, I’ve only been home like 30hr (closer to 48hr now lol) and my brain is still jumbled. I just had so many thoughts running around after this last adventure that I needed to start throwing words on electronic paper. It’s possible none of this makes sense and is a bit scattered.. It will just force me to post another idea in another week or so (can’t believe it’s been 10mo since my last post!). With all the traveling I did this year, I’m honestly surprised it took me this long to write something out loud.

I digress.. I think the best way to sum up the madness in my head, is that 1) Remember the beauty in your own home, your own surroundings. Even deep in a concrete jungle, I know there are sights that inflict emotion. Remember people might be visiting your location because they can’t get this experience at their home. 2) When visiting other places, remember it’s not their job to accommodate to you, you are in their space, their environment. Do a little bit of homework before exploring (honestly it surprises me when people don’t even look up basic lifestyle things before visiting somewhere. Like, no leaf peepers, someone’s PERSONAL HOME is not part of the peeping process – get out!).

So I guess some final jumbled thoughts are – I am blessed to be able to travel as much as I do. If you are not a traveler, honestly, thank you. Because I question if there will ever be (safe) untouched land again. And hot take: just as not everyone is meant to be a doctor, I don’t believe traveling is meant for everyone either. If you are a fellow traveler, I hope you are kind, considerate, adaptable, and patient. And lastly, remember where you are, remember your surroundings – there is beauty in your back yard too. ❤

Have we talked about the little things?

~ NewBeginnings ~ Leave a comment

Whoop! its a double whammy weekend! You all are blessed with back-to-back posts! Who even am I right now!? lol

Idk what it is, maybe Mercury heading into the microwave again!? But by 8:20am PST on a Sunday, I was reminded how important the little things are.

From driving to Hermosa for breakfast then getting my Bees Knees from HiFi – every small moment hit me, in not all the good ways, lol. I mean, the realizations aren’t bad.. for example – as I am driving, I am thinking about finding new local spots in TX.. and then having a moment of, well, when I moved to SoCal, I felt the same way. I only “like” these places bc they are somewhat comfortable. And I say somewhat, bc it’s more the people – and a person forgot to tell me schedules had changed. So I drove for no reason if you will, bc I can get a better experience 3min from my current apartment.

Now I will say that, this normally wouldn’t bother me as much as it did bc whatever, stuff happens all the time. But I think in this moment it was just reminding me that people matter, not necessarily the places. Bc then I head back towards home, and stop by my local coffee shop since caffeine is needed on this packing day.. and I realize who’s working. And to clarify, these people aren’t terrible, lol, but I am in need of a certain experience today especially after having a misstep already this morning. So when I didn’t see “my people” I walked out and went across the street to a cafe where I know no one. And as simple as this situation may seem, it made a difference. My coffee is bomb, and it actually put a smile on my face bc the latte art is always on point there too. And then I started thinking.. why am I trying so hard to accept the mediocre? Why am I trying to do things a certain way, or only go to certain places bc I’m leaving? These people don’t care! lol I mean, ok there’s prob a small moment of awww – you were a great local, but other than that, these people be living their lives without me.

All together, as I got back in my car and headed “home” I just felt like I had to remind myself: This chapter is closing, stop trying to hold on to things that essentially, don’t matter. Bc just like this morning experience, I have dealt with these let downs so many times, but I felt they were just small inconveniences. When now looking at the big picture, they should have been signs of how inadequate living in the SoBay has actually been for me, especially the last couple of years. No wonder I’ve felt lonely. No wonder I never felt like a part of something. I was holding on to the big moments and orchestrated nights out. Holding on to when people came to visit and I could show them the “good parts”.

I have no regrets on how long I stayed here, the last year alone allowed me to meet one of my favorite people, and honestly, depending on what you believe in, I coulda met them anyway in some other way! lol. But these small things are hitting me more now. It’s like when you are finally in a good place after a bad breakup and you see things so clearly now, and wonder how you missed all the red flags. All those little things.

Brings me back to that conversation with my best friend – Its about the Wednesday nights. The small, “insignificant”, moments, that you think don’t matter.. they matter so much more than we realize.

And maybe I was so inclined to write this today (more like vent, to be honest, lol) on a whim, bc you know how much I love to remind y’all about these things! And like most epiphanies, I can’t be the only one with open eyes having these moments, and looking for reassurance. So if this helps any of you see things a little differently, or helps with a decision, or just a reminder to never go a day with bad coffee ever again, lol, then my job is done ❤

cheers, xoxo

the most wonderful time of the year

~ NewBeginnings ~ Leave a comment

It’s Birthdayyy Seasonnn! 🙂

I’m sure you newbies are wondering why the heck I enjoy ticking off another year of life off the tick-sheet, like it’s some kind of CELEBRATION?! Lmaooo well, another year, another New Beginning.

Birthday Season to me, as I know it is for others, is a time of reflection. Where were you this time last year? Where are you now? And not for anything, it doesn’t matter what happened or what you did. And this sounds cray coming from someone whose sole purpose in life is to travel and experience ALL THE THINGS. And I am so pumped of all the traveling and experiences I did/had the past year.

But what it really comes down to is.. Did you learn anything? About yourself, about others, about life? Anything? Did you at least learn what a good cup of coffee tastes like? Point is, I had a year of ups and downs almost as perfect as the dictionary can describe either action.

I started the first part of the year traveling, experiencing, feeling so free and determined, found passions in things, motivated to find a career with purpose. I struggled with a hint of heartache around May.. Then June happened.

Another loss in the family in the past 16mo. I didn’t talk about it much to you “outsiders” lol, but if you know anything about my family dynamic you understand. Losing my Nana last year was harder than ever expected, and this year was difficult in a different way. After having to be emotionally strong for others, I was off again traveling and experiencing things with no time to absorb the internal stress that was created. I know, white people problems, #sorrynotsorry.

Then mid-July came. I had already been struggling since June and been in therapy more than ever. That trip back “home” in June really took me to a place internally I never thought I’d have to deal with again. The resentment, anger, pain, other words that can’t nearly explain the emotional vomit that came flooding my insides. Through all this, I was still breaking my own heart thinking I could love someone enough to have them love me back (I know this is unrealistic and pathetic, stop judging). I shut my phone off for 2 weeks because the anxiety of seeing other people’s lives was actually painful.

Oh and the drinking – hahahaha I promise I don’t love drinking as much as I actually consumed during the summer months.

Depression set in. I barely got out of bed, except to drink, and work. Y’all are lucky if I showered. I was a complete and utter mess. Now mind you, I still trudged through life with a smile on my face, and did the only thing I know to do that makes me feel good. Give to others. Pep-talk? I’m there! Ride to the airport #obvi (I mean, I LOVE doing this anyway lol, lets be honest) Concert tickets? LETS DOOO THISSSS. Plane tickets?! I’ve given awayyyyy worseee.

And then fall and winter happened, and here we are! Lol, I know thats a huge zip through, but these past couple months started bringing the year into perspective.

I LEARNED:

1) It’s ok to not have a “good year” even though you still had MANY good things happen.

2) That although losses are difficult, whether in life, friendships, or relationships, those people and moments brought you here, and gave you understanding of something new.

3) People really do come and go as you need them. This pains my heart because I wish I could keep you all! But holding on too tight to anything: ropes, steering wheels, dog leashes, emotions.. lol, starts hurting more than letting go.

This is why I love Birthday Season, and join it with why I live by quotes – Someone, somewhere, has a way to put your emotions to words when you can’t.

They say (whoever they are) that “birthdays are good for your health.. people with more of them live longer.”

Sorry, lame joke, but for reals. This is why every year, every day, every moment, matters. We don’t know when our last day will be. All we know is now. So if you get another Birthday, CELEBRATE dammit! Hehehe

Reflect, learn, and be better. Not sure if you know this, but life isn’t a competition. What only matters is where each of us are going, and where our own paths lead us. Maybe thats why I love running, the only time to beat is what I ran last time. Me, my time.

Me, my life. You, your life.

Thankfully though, some of us will help and motivate each other through the next year. I love cheering at races and finish lines! I cry all sorts of happy tears, lol.

Be kind, celebrate yourselves, be present, and if you can, love, xoxo.

Cheers!

I don’t know what to call this

~ NewBeginnings ~ Leave a comment

The past is a funny thing.

I leave in two weeks on a jet plane.. and DO know when I’ll be back again.. And every trip I take, especially if it exceeds 3 days, I always clean up my apartment. Every piece of laundry gets done – especially towels and sheets. I dust like I’ve never dusted before, and go through corners of my place I haven’t looked at since the last trip.

And every time.. I swear it never fails.. I always find a certain photo album (or two).. wait, do y’all know what photo albums are?! Lol. These particular ones are stored on the shelf of one of my tables. And I have to move them to dust all the corners. I don’t clean this thorough every time as I mentioned, but I’ll be away for a bit this time. So anyway, if I’m getting this OCD, I of course open them.

The years range from college until about 2006 or 2007 I think? Which were my years of bad decisions.. and hilarity, if I’m gonna be honest lol. Looking through, there were SO MANY emotional moments, good memories, and several uncomfortable pulls to the heart strings.

I remember other times looking through these and thinking, “If I could have one day back there..”

But now, whether it be letting a lot of that go, (which I have been working on as we know) or just being extremely happy and grateful where I am now, I didn’t have that thought pop in my head.

It was weird really. Because there are still so many good feelings from those days and I sort of felt bad thinking, “Why would I NOT want to spend just one more day there?” But of course, I know why. If there is just one thing I’ve learned these past, what did I say in my last post? 60 days? Lol, is that the past is exactly what it is – past tense. Behind us. Not happening now.

And as much as my heart warmed to see a few old faces, and even searching (and finding!) someone on Facebook, (although I don’t think it’s someone I can be “friends” with) with happiness to see them doing well – from a social media standpoint, that is – I just sat there, looked around me, remembered what I was doing, and thought about the current people in my life. More so, realizing that 2 of my people are people from those times, and know WAY TOO MUCH about me, Lol.

Point is, I’m here now. So much of our time is spent talking or thinking about yesterday that sometimes we forget what’s happening in front of us. Or even, what possibilities are waiting for us tomorrow. And as I’m learning how important it is to allow your past to be free, today was a great reminder because of how far I’ve come.

Don’t get me wrong, reminiscing is wonderful. Wondering how people are doing is wonderful. So many moments from yesterday are wonderful. But as wonderful (or not) the past may be, we have to remember not to stay there too long because even the “good” can hold you back from the “better” that today and tomorrow have.

And some may argue about people coming back and moments resurfacing, but be mindful, a person from your “past” that you see today, is now a person in your “present”. Make sense? I mean I can’t tell you if that’s a good decision or not, lol, maybe it’s a career contact? But point is, every day is a new beginning. Every day you are farther away from birth. Life changes in seconds, never mind minutes. So to be worried about or trying to relive anything from yesterday just holds you back from where you are now, which is where you are meant to be.

__________________________________________

UPDATE!

I never posted this, so.. I’ll pick up where I left off.

I went on that trip, lol and re-reading this draft was perfect because the trip was perfect. I saw MANY people from my “past” whether planned or unplanned. And I roamed land I haven’t seen in YEARS.

It was honestly one of the best trips I have had in a while. And it’s a perfect ending to this post. Because one of the best parts of this trip was realizing the whole “past” and “present” idea. And how we, as people, never change. Life does. What we do does, who we keep close with does, careers change, but our innate personalities and beings do not.

More so, how we interact or connect with people – it does change, but when you have certain people in your life, what’s that I said? “We picked up where we left off.. it’s like we never stopped talking.”

Yes! This is where past and present collide. The people you feel this way about, they are meant to be in the present. Seriously – a few people I saw the past week, it literally was like – what year is it?! Our lives may have changed, but we still had those connections – nothing forced, just the comfort of something that feels like it’s meant to be here today. At one point during my first night in town after an amazing surprise.. I said, “I’m just sitting here trying to figure out how the hell the 4 of us ended up here, lol!” Because we were not sitting there living in yesterday, we were there in the present, talking, reminiscing, making new memories. When it came to memories, the conversation tied more to where we are now, and how far we all have come. It was today we were experiencing, and embracing, and talking about. And then we started to plan for tomorrow.

So I guess to bring this full circle, the past is where it is for a reason. Let it go. Find closure. Keep your heart open and let it pass through. But people – I hate being super cheese but, if people are meant to be, they never stay behind. They never “come back.” Time may pass, but connections never fade. They are always here. In the present.

And this is where we should be focused to stay, present. Everyday is a new beginning.

My dear friends, use that to your advantage.

 

❤

 

life still happens..

~ NewBeginnings ~ Leave a comment

even if you don’t post it on social media.

I’ve never liked that saying, “If you didn’t post it, did it really happen?”

I mean, we all know the answer to that.. right? Or at least I hope my readers know the answer to that? lol – but seriously – Trees are still making noises in empty forests..

Which brings me to my all time favorite quote, possibly ever:

IMG_5513

I found an image of this last year and googled to find the origin to make sure I had it right, and boy was I in awe of reading these words, over and over, and over, and over..

It was my mantra last year.. and it will continue to be, every year going forward until I find something more amazing (if that’s even possible).

I shared this a few weeks back in a smaller scale, mentioning that I hope those reading know that this does not mean hide under a rock (although I’m not completely against that sometimes). But more so, keeping your life and your moments to yourself.

Be true to yourself. Do you boo.

I use this as a way to live my life on my terms. There is SO MUCH  N O I S E  out there. Never mind from society, but from family, friends, and even those old high school FB “friends” who look at your life and make assumptions. I know plenty of people judge my life. For me, I just worry that some aren’t as happy as social media makes them out to be due to the expectations of over-sharing. Whats that other wonderful quote?

“Expectation is the root of all heartache” -William Shakespeare

And that’s why this idea of keeping certain things, like in this example: travel, love, and happiness to yourself is important. Because these things: Travel, Love, Happiness – they involve emotion, experiences, and memories. They are not supposed to be measured or compared, or shown to outshine others. Emotions are our own, no one really, truly understands how another feels because emotions are personal.

I hope for everyone in 2018 we learn to actually experience something wonderful – without expectation, and the need for approval or recognition by others. Because those who matter will probably be with you, or they’ll know your travels because they’re that person who needs to know in case you are stolen, amiright?! Or is that just a personal fear? lol.

Get out there friends! And make beautiful things ❤

old lady staus

~ NewBeginnings ~ Leave a comment

I’ve said this before, I’m a planner.

But the other day I was thinking.. WHY AM I LIKE THIS?!

There was a time, you know, where planning, to me, meant: Oh what are we doing RIGHT NOW?! Compared to my current need of wanting to control every minute of every day.

My thoughts continued.. I know where this comes from – all the consequences in my actions from the past. They have all caught up to me. So now I’m constantly bombarded with thoughts of “If, Then, What”.

Maybe this is a good thing. But in my old age – LMAO – there are still things I want to do that I shouldn’t be so worried about. Like, idk – living, loving, and being happy!?

I mean, I’m an Aquarian after all, free-spirit, gypsy wanderer.. Maybe that’s why I love the water so much.. because I’m an Air sign? Lol – but I AM the Water Bearer. I bear the water people. Water: giver-of-life, ever-changing and can either calm or destroy you. Muahahaha (lol)

A wonderful person I know once told me:

“..but the one thing I appreciated about you.. Your willingness to throw logic to the wind and go with your gut. I could never do it. But the world needs Kara’s.”

The world needs me! Well that me anyway ^^

Throw logic to the wind.. I do make decisions with my heart more than my brain that’s for sure.. Or, I feel like, I did. I mean do we remember 10/11/2012?!

Recently, however, I have found myself in more brain-space. Which again, isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but I honestly feel like I’m missing out on something greater that I could be sort-of chasing, if you will. Or maybe I’m just missing a piece of myself?

One thing is certain: I normally have a pretty good balance of emotion-to-brain ratio when it comes to life. I’ve had therapists, doctors, and other professionals tell me that I am very self-aware. This apparently is surprising to others. I understand why I do things, and because of this, I also have a very good understanding of others. I have great intuition on needs vs wants, and even when “mistakes” are made, I look at myself before I look at others.

I know my boundaries. Which is interesting because the one thing that seems to mystify even the bestest of friends, is when I know I’m doing something which may potentially hurt me, yet I always feel the need to push further for myself, until I am ready to let go (if there is any letting-go involved). And I don’t quite understand why that may be a bad thing.. I know my limits, and I learn from my mistakes more than making them again. But that’s it there – mistakes. I also know and remember the feeling of those mistakes. And it’s in never wanting to experience some of those again that I think has kept me here in this “safe” brain space.

Why am I even blogging about this? I have no clue – maybe I just needed to get something out. Express an emotion I can’t quite explain, but can you really explain an emotion? You just feel it.

And I have this feeling I have been thinking too much. Lol.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ll still be stimulating my mind with wonderful things, still using a planner, and also making sure I don’t jump into the deep-end without my floaties. But I want to start making some decisions again from my heart, my gut, my inner being. I’m tired of being afraid of what tomorrow may do to me. I miss that little gypsy heart of mine.. and I want to wander a bit.

After my recent travels, I keep finding myself in conversations about more exploration and more adventures – new experiences, near and far. For the first time in a long time, I have a free and open heart to add to my free and open spirit. Those combined can only lead to amazing things – or trouble, lol 😉

Those of you out there who live these in-the-moment lives, I take advice and recommendations to heart. I want to travel alone, learn to love without expectation, and find something new about life everyday. Share your wisdom! And maybe I’ll have better stories/posts to share. lol

“You’ll never be able to escape from your heart. So it is better to listen to what it has to say.” – Paul Coelho

❤