Tag: thoughts

what’s meant to be will be? right?

~ NewBeginnings ~ Leave a comment

How do you ever know what you are supposed to do? Not necessarily the “meaning of life” per say, but just in general when you hit some sort of crossroads or obstacle in the road?

This past month, during all these challenges: Lent, Blogging, Kindness/Fitness – I have been putting myself back together so to speak, in that I finally began focusing on my health again. Stress really holds me down from a lot, and seriously takes a toll on my health in general. Stress takes a toll on everything in general! Whether it’s getting sick with a cold, heart palpitations, or eating issues, something holds me back from life.

The past two weeks in particular, I made a mental change to not allow myself to sink into anxiety, and try and get a workout in, even a small one. I was almost mad at the stress, I was done. I had enough! I wanted to be the happy person I am, and I wanted my pants to fit 😦

Today is one of my better feeling days, probably one of the best recently, and it made me wonder about what my next steps are. Do I ride through the storm of what I call work? See if there is light at the end of the tunnel? Work on a way to maybe stay with the company just doing something else? Do I even want to work at this company anymore? This industry? Have all these been additional signs to tell me something? Or are these just tests to prove stamina? Hindsight is 20/20 and I’m definitely not ahead enough to know yet.

How does one know? Or do we even know. Are there even “signs”? Is it just the courage to try something new? To just “feel” like it will all work out? I’m not getting any instinctual feelings lately, thats for sure. I can’t decide if it’s because I’m so overly stressed that I’m numb, or I just have no clue what to do right now. I also pray – I’m terrible at it though, I will admit. I just never know what to ask, and I never realize things until it’s too late. Or more than instinct, prayer, choice.. do I just allow God and/or the universe to guide me where I’m meant to be? And even so.. how do I know?! I just mentioned, I’m terrible looking for or deciphering signs! GAH!

Well, I do know one thing: I feel a change in the air. I am at a crossroads trying to decide which path is best for tomorrow. And whether the change is from me, God, or the universe, I guess we can only wait and see.

 

🙂

3..2..1

~ NewBeginnings ~ Leave a comment

Eek!

I can’t believe March is just about over! It’s so strange when you are doing something that requires you to keep track of days.. It has felt so long, yet so short all at the same time. And isn’t that the kicker here? Like I posted a few days, weeks? back – time is something we created. So this experience with keeping track of my days for a tangible reason really makes me see the past month a little bit differently.

It’s really that sentence: so long, yet so short at the same time. Because that is the beauty of time. Because it is something we created the metrics for.. days can really be as long or as short as we see them. I’m seriously having a surreal moment right now.

One thing is for sure, I’ll be a little pumped to be able to have time to work on more developed posts, like the couple I have left in drafts that I abandoned months, even years ago. Not that this last month was a wash.. I just didn’t have the amount of time to express some thoughts or ideas as expansively as I’d want to – Sort of like my Women’s Event post. There is so much more in me and so many more examples to share in regards to, women’s movements, feminism, and the fact that on average, women actually don’t like each other. So much to write down and edit to make it resonate my emotions.

But again.. it’s been a learning month for sure, and these last few posts will not be goodbyes of course, but a happy closing of one door and a hopeful opening of another.

#toNewBeginnings 🙂