Tag: people

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~ NewBeginnings ~ Leave a comment

Whoa.

It’s been just about a month since my last post, and once again, I have a few drafts waiting to be finished.. Until those are completed, I would like to take a second to apologize for boring all you readers with nothing new! This new life in SoCal, has provided me with a job, which from my understanding was a feat in itself being able to secure something in one month. I guess I’ll give myself a pat on the back for that. With this new job, I have clearly been busy.. and then I blinked and it was Christmas. I literally began working the day before Thanksgiving which explains my month-long hiatus.

Not sure if you are aware, but many things can happen in a month. Many things can happen in a day.. an hour even.. seconds. And this past month not only have I experienced many things personally, I have also experienced things globally. There were good and of course there were some bad.. There were more heavy rains and cyclone/tsunami-type weather in the Philippines, more cold weather and snow in the Northeast, Pacquiao lost his fight, there were more birthday parties to attend, and of course, there was the wild hustle and bustle of Black Friday kicking off the holiday shopping season.. there was also my cousin, who finally landed a job herself after being out of work for over a year, and more recently, there was a heartbreaking tragedy in CT.

I don’t want to write about tragedies, or bring back terrible memories. I also don’t want you thinking that it hadn’t affected me. I want to explain that aside from the reality-check CT has brought me, everything else that has happened has reminded me of how absolutely blessed I am. I have my family, my friends, a job, and even a new roommate! I’ve had low moments questioning some of my decisions.. but all in all, I have another day. I can’t say that I’m plain lucky, because there have definitely been some questionable moments in my life. But to still be standing here experiencing yet another moment, even one as small as writing this blog post.. it allows me to remind all of you of how equally blessed you are to be able to read this.

I have always been a very grateful person, but more so recently the minute I moved across the country. I have thanked God everyday for what I have. I am thankful for every struggle and every happy moment. It was not easy re-starting my life. As crazy-positive of a person I am by nature, at times, I felt very defeated being here. I have phone calls and texts to prove it. But in all that is down, there is up, even if it seems impossible. For this Holiday season, I have God, but to whomever you have to thank, Thank them. Even If you are not spiritual, you have your best friend, or even your mother. Be thankful. Be kind. Stop waiting for reminders.

“It always amazes me how seemingly insignificant choices in life end up being all the more significant in time. I’m constantly reminded that all situations, opportunities, and relationships are precarious. It takes only seconds to change a life.” -Brian Sicard

tiny rant.

~ NewBeginnings ~ 4 Comments

Okay, maybe it’s not tiny.. But being it the week of Giving Thanks.. I keep seeing something on my social pages that is really starting to eat at me. << I don’t even know if that sentence makes sense. Anyway, I keep seeing miserable people.

We all have bad days.. I’m having one today. I have other days that are tough too, but I try and keep calm because why make my surroundings miserable? It’s not the world’s fault that I’m having a bad day. But I also know that I can’t help it sometimes and that was me today. I even posted on FB that I’m grumpy and I wanted help to make it stop..!

Maybe its me, but when I have a bad day, or if I’m going through something difficult I dont find it appropriate to divulge things via social pages. Yes, I did write about one difficult moment in my life this year on my blog, but that is ONE outlet, and it wasn’t constant. It was also not written for the mere purpose of attention. It was a story. I guess my point here in this week of Giving Thanks, is that I have seen many posts lately about people going through difficult times.. and “some days are worse than others”.. posting dramatic explanations of life and love and heartache.. People posting about how miserable life is.. Reaching out to their FB/twitter/whatever else you might use – family just to create a rise out of people.. In order for people to comment with sob similarities and some others who provide motivational mini speeches. I completely understand that during holiday seasons, what seems bad enough already, becomes a little more discontent.. I’ve actually seen it first hand in a bar on Christmas Eve once.

A major reoccurring theme during the holidays are people who worry about being single.. I get it. I myself will be spending my first Thanksgiving and Christmas in 5 years.. alone. Call me crazy, call me different, call me a liar, but my explanation to people and my thoughts on this are that no matter what coast I would be spending this first holiday season alone, I know I have people who love me, and I am not spending it alone. I have family, I have friends. More important, I have myself. We dont get those moments often, time to spend on ourselves.. and although nothing beats having companionship, what kind of companions can we really be without loving ourselves and experiencing the holidays in a light where you can see how others actually are. Seeing for once that without the fog of depending on someone, no relationship is perfect, no life is perfect. People are not perfect.

So rather than vent out daily, hourly, or every few minutes even, why not actually see the holidays, or every day for that matter, for what they are meant for.. Family/Friends: whether its by blood or by fate, without family and friends we would litterally have nothing. Being Thankful: nothing will ever be perfect, everything happens for a reason, and there is a time and place for everything. A bad day for me is obviously different for other people, but we should always be aware of what we actually have and how grateful it is to have those things. To be able to wake up everyday and have another chance that many people don’t have. Not just today, not just this week, but always. We can never control what happens around us or what people do to us, but we can always control our own actions and reactions.

I mean really, why do some people feel like they are the only people who ever had problems? No one else in the world or on FB, or twitter.. ever went through a break up? No one else ever lost their job? No one else ever fought with their family? No one else is hurting on the inside? No one else ever had a bad day..?! And come on, how many times can someone say “Don’t worry, things will get better”, ” You are stronger than that”, “Tomorrow is another day..” We know this already, why must we be constantly reminded? It’s like knowing 1+1=2 but still asking for the answer. Maybe this is another mini motivational speech for all the downers, but seriously, how many times do we need to hear it?! And when did social networking become a platform for public whining? How many moments will it take for us to be grateful for what we have?! To be grateful for the small things in front of us.. for just making it another day.. just breathing one more breath..

“Maybe we’re not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we’re thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we’re thankful for the things we’ll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate.” -Grey’s Anatomy

writing has feelings too.

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Writing. It is such a powerful thing to be able to do. It provides new ideas, explains situations, tells a story, and in some instances, inflicts emotion.

Emotion: n. A state of feeling. A conscious mental reaction subjectively experienced as strong feeling usually directed toward a specific object and typically accompanied by physiological and behavioral changes in the body.

Emotion is a crazy thing. It allows you to feel out a situation and express yourself. Emotion can change your perspective on life, it can even make or break you. It is the very aspect of our being that allows us to connect to others.

Now.. writing and emotion.. this is a tricky thing. As stated, in some instances writing can inflict emotion.. however, unless you are reading a very well written novel, you can’t find proper expressions of emotion. Classic novels aside, lets talk about everyday writing. Like this blog, it is difficult to see exactly how a writer feels from their words. Even some novels, (which is why I stated ‘some instances’) one cannot tell the emotion from the writer. In this entire post for example, I could be sitting here laughing hysterically reading out the definition of Emotion, over enunciating certain words, and making a mockery of my ideas.. Even with as many emojis 🙂 , underlines, italics, bold letters, or even bold italic underlines, expressing emotion through writing is difficult. You can’t hear tone, you can’t see a facial expression. And that is what emotion is.. ‘a strong feeling.. typically accompanied by behavioral changes in the body.’

So in all our Facebook statues, all our tweets, and all the blogs we read.. all we have in interpreting writing from someone, is our knowledge of them. It’s knowing what they sound like, knowing their tone, knowing facial expressions, eyebrow raises, smirks.. Without that, the perception idea comes back to mind.. writing becomes part of the world of assumptions. We have to remember that what we think the emotions are of what someone writes, may not be what the writer intended, or even what other people are thinking. And not to throw this into a 3rd dimension again, but what we respond with is also under the same discretion since those who do not know us will read without knowing how we feel. They are just words on a screen. I have seen many internet fights because of this, even on my own pages. I myself have had to reach out to the people who know me to remind them that other people will not understand my ideas, never mind their comments, so to be prepared for back lash..

And then I bring myself down to reality and think.. ‘It doesn’t matter what these people think of my words.. they don’t know me!’ But it does matter. Why?! Because even people who know me best still mis-interpret my words.. because again, they still can’t see me. They sometimes can’t determine if I’m serious, or sarcastic. I have to literally say ‘I’m serious.’ Now those situations are not common, but even still, it makes me think of the people I don’t know very well that I am getting to know now. Especially here, in what some people like to call LALA Land.. where drama is hiding behind every corner.. the entertainment and media industry focusing on every word, spoken, sung, or written.. I sometimes forget these people do not know me yet.. They’ve only tasted the icing.. and I’m a whole lot of cake!

Maybe it’s because I am in a new world, with little connections, as well as being recently single.. that I am more aware of what my messages interpret as. I can’t stand having to explain myself.. so I try to be more careful. But in all our writings, whether it be Facebook, twitter, texting, messaging.. remember that all the emoji in the world won’t be able to express your actual emotion. I don’t think its anything we can change, or fix..(unless we all just start posting video of ourselves) we can just be aware of it.

So, if I offend anyone, or give off the impression that I’m interested.. NO. No, I’m not sorry. You just don’t know me and there is not much I can do about interpretations of my written word. I can do my best, but it will never be perfect to everyone. But maybe, just maybe, one day everyone will be able to know and experience the honest-fun-enthusiastic-craziness that is Posh.. Maybe. And then all the critics can suck it.

“Those who know, don’t talk. And those who talk, don’t know.” -@CoffeeCocktail

ignore-ance.

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..is what i like to call it.. because the ignorer has no idea how the ignoree feels.. and therefore, they are ignorant.

If you haven’t caught on from my one sentence rant, my biggest pet peeve.. next to not saying ‘bless you’ when someone sneezes..(I dont care what religion you are, make up another phrase if you have to) or ‘thank you’ when you hold a door open.. (you know, common courtesy?!) is being ignored. I mean, I dont know many people who really enjoy it.. and of course, like most of my posts, I too, am a perpetrator. I am a mean person who has also ignored people. Maybe this is karma..

This gets me to thinking though, about how I treat people, and what things I have done to be on someones ‘pet peeve’ list. The minute I finished writing the first sentence to this post I immediately felt terrible for the people I have ignored. I found myself on the other side. You start asking yourself questions.. Did they read it? Did they listen to my voice mail? With technology these days sometimes you know when they have, which leads you to more questions: Did I offend them? Do they not care? What is going on?! How much time is appropriate before I should even be asking myself these questions?

“Whoever said ‘What you don’t know can’t hurt you,’ was a complete and total moron. Because for most people I know, not knowing is the worst feeling in the world.” -Greys

The only problem is, although I care about being ignored, other people might not even care at all if I respond to them. That’s another mystery in life I guess.. Or maybe its not. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again.. ‘perception is reality.’ 5 people see a car accident, you get 5 different explanations. I think someone is ignoring me, they think they’re not, and vice versa. But even with our differences in perception, we should all be a little more considerate when people reach out to us, ask us questions, or offer information or assistance. When it comes to ignoring someone, I think there are simple, general guidelines that may help us to STOP IGNORING people. You all stop being jerks, and I will too.

– If someone asks you a question, answer it.

-If you’re not interested, say so. (didn’t I post about honesty recently?)

-If you feel bad because time has passed, don’t continue wasting time.. remember people ‘forgive’ but they don’t ‘forget’. You don’t even have to apologize, say something simple like.. ‘oops!’

-Be courteous. You never know when that person will magically pop back into your life. Damn that karma.

-Remember what it feels like to be on the other side. It sucks.

Go.

~ NewBeginnings ~ 5 Comments

I have at least 3 posts waiting to be finished.. I had so many ideas before I up and moved cross-country, and unfortunately it’s only been a few days.. so I haven’t found anything to call home yet where I can let my thoughts finish. I’ve barely found a Starbucks I like! But through the past few days, and even the days leading up to my departure from New England, I have been pulling at strings inside me only to try and cut some loose. Whether it be a failed test, a lost game, a relationship, a fight, or even moving, we have trouble accepting loss.. sometimes we think of it as failure.

The hardest thing in life is letting something go. Even through all the cliches of “everything happens for a reason”, we still take to heart moments that we should not hold on to. Maybe I should clarify.. it’s not that we should or shouldn’t hold on to these emotions, but many times we sit around and ‘wait’ for that second chance. We hope for someone to come back to us, or for karma to come ‘full circle’. We forget that letting go allows us to make a change or find something better, or makes us better. It allows us to learn. I, for example, have learned that sometimes there are no second chances. You can’t replay a game, and you can’t always re-take a test. And when it comes to relationships, we have to remember that yes, people come into our lives for a reason, but “God often removes people from your life for a reason, think before chasing after them.” -@coffee&cocktails. Do you know how many ex-boyfriends I thought were coming back?! Almost all of them. And how many did?  ___ this many.

Whether its friendships or partnerships, everyone has an expiration date in our lives. This sounds terrible I know, because some DO stand the test of time, but some are just longer than others, some are only for a day, some are only meant to bump into you on the subway and comment on the color of your shirt.. because that 3 seconds made your bad day better.. and some, only some, like library books, can be borrowed again when needed. One of my bestest friends was out of my life for about 4 years. We both never ‘chased’ each other, or fought to understand why we stopped speaking. What we both did, however, was let each other go. And its not that we banished each other from our lives, or were pompous jerks who snubbed each other, we just understood that there was a reason we stopped talking. We both learned a lot about ourselves, and not to sound super lame, but at the most perfect time, we found each other again. Even after so many years of being out of each others lives, one thing never changed, we still understood each other. We talked through the past.. and although it didn’t make sense 4 years ago, it all made sense now. This is one of few scenarios where that letting-someone-you-love-go-and-they-come-back-and-all-that-jazz.. rang true. The moment you let go of something or someone is the very moment everything makes sense. You become who you are again, and sometimes you realize that the something or someone you were stuck to, wasn’t even worth it at all. You are able to see everything from the outside. And sometimes, you even understand what it feels like to be on the other side. An example that this friend explained to me was.. “I was thinking, if I was just walking down the street and I didn’t know you at all, would I still want to talk to you or ask you for directions? As a stranger? Would you be someone I would want to talk to? ..And I answered YES.” After that conversation, I could name a few people that I would still want to talk to, but I also could name a few I wouldn’t want to talk to.. even as strangers.. and it made me realize again the glory of letting those people go.

“Sometimes you have to realize some people can stay in your heart, but not in your life.” -@iamprincekash

Because some people and some moments aren’t meant to be in your life forever. No matter how long they have been there already, we all know the past does not create the future. The past can’t ever change, but the future always will. So, of all the heartache, tears, and emotional turmoil.. all the scenarios I made in my head with ex-boyfriends.. (Ive been making rom com’s for years apparently!), all the old friends, and bad days at work.. If I had held on to every emotion.. every moment.. I would have never made a life for myself in New England. I would have never made the friends I have today. I would have been stuck in a terrible, emotionally damaging, relationship. I would still be crying driving on my way to work. I would still be fighting with friends who make bad decisions then question why bad things happen to them. With letting something go, even if its as small as a bad day, it allows you to see what is in front of you, and to show you that even the simplest of things, that are right in front of your face, can be amazing. It shows you the friends who stand by your side, the life you can create from the unknown, the crush who can turn into something more, and the endless possibilities of what fate has to offer.

We only only have one life. We only get one. Once chance. There are no second chances when it comes to life, so why would we ever assume that there are second chances IN life. YOLO all you want, but if you don’t stand by the idea, you weigh yourself down. Every day is a new beginning and with that should be finding something new to let go of. Think about what weighs you down, what lies heavy on your heart. Cut one more string. You’ll be able to breathe a little easier.

If I had stayed a miserable 13yr old who didn’t want to make friends, would I have ever become the crazy-confident-self-loving girl who thought moving back to CA would be a great idea?! Without cutting a few strings, I may have never taken a step forward. So here’s to you New England, as I pour out some champagne for you, know that I will never forget you.. and as days go on, I might pull another string off.. no worries though, because if I love some of you enough, you’ll come back right? Or does that mean I’ll go back..?

“Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back. Maybe you have to let go of who you were to become who you will be.” -S&TC

 

why hello there 2012.. lets not go so fast this time..

~ NewBeginnings ~ 1 Comment

note: new year, new blog! I had a lot of trouble with my last blog, so I now have WordPress. So for the 5 or 7 of you 😉 who follow me, I hope you can continue to follow me here! I am in the process of moving over my older blogs.. hopefully I can catch on quick and get everything in order.

On another note, I’m seriously slacking on this blogging thing.. holiday season has a different meaning where I work.. it’s called: no life. But now that I, and those who worked hard with me, have survived.. I’m back in action!

Now on to the post..

If I could get even just a penny for every time someone says how fast this year went, I’d  able to blog for a job. All I want to do is remind these people that they say that EVERY year. Mind you, I am also victim to this fascination of how “fast” time is, but I caught myself this year.. which is why I want to discuss it.

As every new year passes we wonder where it all went.. and we try to keep new resolutions. Just as fast as we break those resolutions, we blink and start asking for spring, summer, that vacation we planned, the semester to end,  and even Christmas again.

We all go back to work after the holiday season and can’t wait till 5p hits, or 6p or whatever time we need to be “free” again. And nevermind the workdays, we also have the weekends.. we get to Sunday, and then Monday comes, and we are already pushing for the next weekend. We keep looking to tomorrow.

WE are what’s making time go by so fast.

Have we ever thought about that?! I know there are several sayings about taking it a day at a time, and so on.. but do we actually pay attention to them?

I mean what if we actually DID savor every minute of every day.. every moment.. would the year seem so fast then? I know work seems longer.. but would a ‘longer’ YEAR be so bad?

Heck.. I would still be savoring turning 30, not being worried about turning 31.

Which comes to my partial New Years resolution..

Really and Truly take every minute, every moment, every day.. and  s a v o r  it.

We constantly forget that there may not be a ‘tomorrow’ for us. We forget that the wedding day can’t come without today, and that summer can’t come without spring first.

Lets not forget this 2012 – that Today makes Tomorrow.

With all the Mayan predictions, we may not even have a 2013. And if we survive yet another apocalypse, wouldn’t it be nice to celebrate another new year thinking,  finally! We made it! And be thankful for it? Rather than asking what happened in this blur called 2012?

We need to stop waiting for the day to end, because no matter your beliefs, that’s another day less that we have here. We need to not ‘wait’ for our vacation, but instead enjoy this time before hand to remind ourselves why we are taking it in the first place.

We need to stop being sad that summer is over and be happy that we were able to simply experience it.. and be more excited that we are able to experience fall..

Lets not make this year go too fast. Enjoy now. Stop staring at the clock. There could be a car accident in your future.. do you really want to rush to get there? I know I don’t.

Share with me this New Year of TODAY, and cherish now what you may not have Tomorrow.

Cheers!