Tag: new year

another day, another New Beginning

~ NewBeginnings ~ Leave a comment

According to 90% of the world, we are in a New Year. I’m not debating this, as I trust the calendar, lol, but I have always felt my New Year starts on my Birthday. If you have been following me long enough, you know how important I believe Birthdays are, and this is one of those reasons.

This past weekend, I was talking about this with a couple friends, and not that they were going to change their lives based on when a “New Year” starts, but we did slightly agree that on a personal level, that it only makes sense that one’s New Year begins on their Birthday. This is the day we entered this world, and it’s the same day – every year – that determines you making it, yet another year, on this planet.

As mentioned, this is how I have functioned for a while, and I’m not trying to tell yall how to live your lives, lol. If you need Jan 1st at a starting point, please use it. My hope in all these posts is to remind everyone that New Beginnings happen all the time. New jobs, new relationships, death, new life path, etc.. And all those moments don’t wait for Jan 1. And I guess now you can argue, none of those moments wait for your Birthday either. And you are correct!

Point is, your Birthday, or lets use my Birthday, is another milestone of a New Beginning. What will I accomplish this next year of my life? Did I have a goal of buying a house by the time I turn 40? What do I do now about it? What limitations might I run into this year (because I’m an old lady now, lol)? Birthday New Years give a different perspective on your hopes, dreams, and goals. And I feel like we take our Birthday goals more serious because there’s that hidden fear of “another year gone by”.

So whether you plan your life between Jan 1st and Dec 31st, or you are similar to me, and your year hasn’t “started” yet, I hope y’all use this time to reflect. And remember, your life can change any day, so as much as we want to “plan” the year ahead, whether that’s now, or Birthday time: “No Plan is Perfect, and Nothing Perfect Can be Planned”.

So cheers to 2023, whatever day your Year starts for you, and I hope yall find magic, love, and all things meant for you ❤

And if life happens to suck, remember tomorrow, and every tomorrow, is another chance at a New Beginning 🙂

Non-traditional

~ NewBeginnings ~ 1 Comment

I was chatting with a friend earlier today, about the new year, blah blah.. and à la Carrie Bradshaw – I couldn’t help but wonder – what is it with traditions?

So like, we know what a tradition is: n – a long-established custom or belief that has been passed on from one generation to another. Or, in laymen’s terms – something that we “always” do.

I think I mentioned this in my last post or maybe I was just talking about it to someone, but for as long as I have been in SoCal, not one NYE has been the same. Come to think about it, no Christmas either. The closest thing to holiday traditions would be Thanksgiving, I do visit my brother every year. And possibly my Birthday – the past couple years I spent it my local watering hole, but every year has been a little different, the people mostly.

I guess my point is, the conversation from this morning was geared more at NYE, and I was having a moment, bc one of those “on this day, 85 years ago..” posts popped up and it was a NYE in Boston and the photo was insinuating the consumption of the proper bubbly concoction of champagne and Chambord. I remember making this drink another NYE while here in SoCal.. and I said out loud this morning, “All I wanted was Champagne and Chambord, I drank those every New Years!” And hence.. this is where I feel “traditions” fall flat.

The thing with – Holiday – traditions specifically, is that they are realistically short-lived. Or maybe this is just in my experience. Because as all things in life, nothing is forever.. which means, even if life is the most wonderful, eventually we all will die.

Therefore, once that moment happens, say, a person who passes, the current form of tradition, in a sense, changes. I say this because, I was seeing a lot of “what happens when the glue that holds us together leaves (is gone, or passes away)?”, posts, on the socials this year. Many commented with: MAKE NEW GLUE (ok maybe some didn’t yell, exactly, but yelling in text has been a delight lately, so thats all me lol). I digress, point is, new glue = a change in tradition.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying “traditions” are silly or meaningless, bc I definitely loved when I was part of one, or carried one on. But I guess, especially after this past year.. we need to normalize change. And I know we have all heard: “The only constant in life is CHANGE,” however, do we actually KNOW that? And ACCEPT it?

This has always been the scariest and most exciting thing to me. Change. I love it because in the 8 years living in SoCal, I have made about 7 friend groups (I just counted lol) – and in those groups are further sub-groups. I think about this, bc that means on average, I make a new friend group a year. THINK ABOUT THAT. I just hear all the silly people in my ear: “How do you meet people WITHOUT dating apps/apps in general?! It’s SO HARD.” No, its called GO OUTSIDE. Go to your local watering hole, go take a yoga class, go for a run, read a book at a coffee shop, and idk, when I was back east, everyone married each other at work! So just go to work! LOL (heres lookin at you #eastcoastfidofam) Thats how I have met people and made connections, then met other people through those people, and it goes on. And mind you, if you know me at all, you know I despise people who bother me at bars, lol, and at the coffee shop, etc.. but there is always someone who meets my energy, and the vibe is good, and friendships, and other ‘ships are made.

Through these ‘ships, some have kept and stayed since day one, i.e. I moved here in October, I met one of my best friend in November (from a mutual friend, she was looking for a new roommate), I moved in, in December, and the rest is history. Now, the volleyball friend group I met the following May/June? Inseparable like the first year. Then off-and-on the following, I was maid-of-honor at one of their weddings, then shortly after.. SEE YA. Lol. I mean, it wasn’t due to poor intentions, but life happened. Aside from random social media check-ins, I only talk to one person from that group still. ONE. And it’s not even on a consistent basis, lol.

I can go on about all the groups, those loves lost, and friendships of auld lang syne, but my point is: I, we, all of us – meet new people every.single.day. Whether we want those people in our lives or not is another story, but the opportunity is there, and those people are part of our daily “change.”

Tying these ideas of tradition and change together, is why it is all so exciting and scary at the same time to me. Because we have the opportunity to meet and experience new people/things on the daily. Think about that on a people aspect for a sec, how amazing is that?! Constantly making an impact or adding wonderful people to your life. BUT on that same notion, WE HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO MEET AND EXPERIENCE NEW PEOPLE/THINGS ON THE DAILY.

Y’all see where I’m going here?! Which means.. the people and things you experience today.. may not be the same people/things you experience in a year, a month, a week even. And as I wander through therapy to heal and repair myself, I realized that

  1. this is why loyalty and the idea of tradition is so important to me (people leaving/moments never happening again)
  2. this is why commitment is hard for me to accept (people leaving/moments never happening again)

I’m sure many people have had the feeling of this yo-yo/parallel emotion of wanting things to stay the same, but still yearning for change. I mean, as far as people are concerned, it takes a lot for me to actually trust someone and consider them my people. But at the same time, I’m high-five-ing and hiking with all these fun new people! But this is also normal for most, I think. We have all these friends, but only like 5 core people or whatever.

Anyway, because the only constant is change, how are traditions even possible? I mean, for me, the definition isn’t exactly set in stone, bc in basic terms, it’s just a long-established custom or belief (passed down from generations) – so those customs can include anyone? Like imma just make people, say, go to Christmas Eve services with me bc thats what my family did? And what exactly happens once that tradition isn’t done? (bc I haven’t gone to Christmas Eve services in like 39574594 years) Does that mean the tradition dies? Or does it become more nostalgic.. like my Champagne and Chambord on NYE? OR are traditions personal/singular? Because what if my brother hated celebrating Christmas on Christmas Eve like our family has done every year (with or without us there, pretty much every year until this year). I would think that would mean it’s NOT a tradition for him, but it still is with the “family”?

Anywayyy, in all this gibberish, and for someone who focuses on the little things #details, I just find the “bigger picture” fascinating. With everyday being a literal new beginning it’s a wild flurry of excitement and fear of the new, and possible loss of whatever is not-new. And I guess, as a side note, as much as I truly believe that you can:

“Meet someone tomorrow who has better intentions for you than someone you have known forever. Time means nothing, character does.”

I do have so much respect, and admiration to those who have kept any tradition, or people in their lives for a long time. I think of one of my Aquarian Soul-Sisters, who I have been best friends with for omg.. FIFTEEN YEARS?! And although there was a small snippet of time where we were off running our lives, we have literally been soul- inseparable (we live on opposite coasts now 😦 ) But think about it – 15years. Thats a lot of time to meet a whole lot of people. I mean in just 8 years, I have 7 different friend groups! So that also makes me wonder, are things just meant to be? Or is it all a choice?

This is also why couples who have been together for 10, 20, 50 years (and are in HEALTHY relationships) are admirable. Again, that’s a lot of time to meet so many people. Some say, you must “choose” your partner every day. Like working out, it’s a choice #priorities. Is THAT all tradition is? A choice, a conscious decision, to do or keep things continuing?

Anywayyy, I’m just going down a rabbit hole now. So if you made it this far, embrace the change. Accept traditions that may have been “lost”. Let yourself be sad if you lose a friend or lose touch with a colleague. Constantly remind yourself (or at least TRY to) that the chances of all the same.exact.people being there, in a few weeks time even, is not a sure bet. That being said, cherish every moment. Enjoy the time you have with others, and also in the activities you are involved in; and of course, take care of the ones who never seem to leave (that are HEALTHY relationships), and continue any “tradition” you’re still able to. Because as great as new opportunities are, new people, new traditions.. what is new may also be a replacement, and sometimes not for the better. And then you find yourself on January 1st, some random year, wondering where your Champagne and Chambord was on NYE.

Cheers!

p.s. are you now in a tug-o-war with excitement and fear for tomorrow!? eek! I half apologize if that is now happening, but it is also one of the BEST feelings in the world. #itscalledbeinggrateful

the most wonderful time of the year

~ NewBeginnings ~ Leave a comment

It’s Birthdayyy Seasonnn! 🙂

I’m sure you newbies are wondering why the heck I enjoy ticking off another year of life off the tick-sheet, like it’s some kind of CELEBRATION?! Lmaooo well, another year, another New Beginning.

Birthday Season to me, as I know it is for others, is a time of reflection. Where were you this time last year? Where are you now? And not for anything, it doesn’t matter what happened or what you did. And this sounds cray coming from someone whose sole purpose in life is to travel and experience ALL THE THINGS. And I am so pumped of all the traveling and experiences I did/had the past year.

But what it really comes down to is.. Did you learn anything? About yourself, about others, about life? Anything? Did you at least learn what a good cup of coffee tastes like? Point is, I had a year of ups and downs almost as perfect as the dictionary can describe either action.

I started the first part of the year traveling, experiencing, feeling so free and determined, found passions in things, motivated to find a career with purpose. I struggled with a hint of heartache around May.. Then June happened.

Another loss in the family in the past 16mo. I didn’t talk about it much to you “outsiders” lol, but if you know anything about my family dynamic you understand. Losing my Nana last year was harder than ever expected, and this year was difficult in a different way. After having to be emotionally strong for others, I was off again traveling and experiencing things with no time to absorb the internal stress that was created. I know, white people problems, #sorrynotsorry.

Then mid-July came. I had already been struggling since June and been in therapy more than ever. That trip back “home” in June really took me to a place internally I never thought I’d have to deal with again. The resentment, anger, pain, other words that can’t nearly explain the emotional vomit that came flooding my insides. Through all this, I was still breaking my own heart thinking I could love someone enough to have them love me back (I know this is unrealistic and pathetic, stop judging). I shut my phone off for 2 weeks because the anxiety of seeing other people’s lives was actually painful.

Oh and the drinking – hahahaha I promise I don’t love drinking as much as I actually consumed during the summer months.

Depression set in. I barely got out of bed, except to drink, and work. Y’all are lucky if I showered. I was a complete and utter mess. Now mind you, I still trudged through life with a smile on my face, and did the only thing I know to do that makes me feel good. Give to others. Pep-talk? I’m there! Ride to the airport #obvi (I mean, I LOVE doing this anyway lol, lets be honest) Concert tickets? LETS DOOO THISSSS. Plane tickets?! I’ve given awayyyyy worseee.

And then fall and winter happened, and here we are! Lol, I know thats a huge zip through, but these past couple months started bringing the year into perspective.

I LEARNED:

1) It’s ok to not have a “good year” even though you still had MANY good things happen.

2) That although losses are difficult, whether in life, friendships, or relationships, those people and moments brought you here, and gave you understanding of something new.

3) People really do come and go as you need them. This pains my heart because I wish I could keep you all! But holding on too tight to anything: ropes, steering wheels, dog leashes, emotions.. lol, starts hurting more than letting go.

This is why I love Birthday Season, and join it with why I live by quotes – Someone, somewhere, has a way to put your emotions to words when you can’t.

They say (whoever they are) that “birthdays are good for your health.. people with more of them live longer.”

Sorry, lame joke, but for reals. This is why every year, every day, every moment, matters. We don’t know when our last day will be. All we know is now. So if you get another Birthday, CELEBRATE dammit! Hehehe

Reflect, learn, and be better. Not sure if you know this, but life isn’t a competition. What only matters is where each of us are going, and where our own paths lead us. Maybe thats why I love running, the only time to beat is what I ran last time. Me, my time.

Me, my life. You, your life.

Thankfully though, some of us will help and motivate each other through the next year. I love cheering at races and finish lines! I cry all sorts of happy tears, lol.

Be kind, celebrate yourselves, be present, and if you can, love, xoxo.

Cheers!

December 30th 2017

~ NewBeginnings ~ Leave a comment

At the time of this typing.. we only have about 28hr left until a “new year”. A time to celebrate, look forward, and create a sense of hope for “better” days.

But have we ever thought about.. what if there is nothing “better”? Like, I get 2017 sort of sucked overall, but if you look hard enough, you’ll see, love actually is all around.. hehe ❤

It’s true, I know, there have definitely been years better than others. Those years are 2015/16 for me. But in the end, there is always enough good to make any “bad” year feel average at the least. 2016 is a great example, it was a “terrible” year for me, but I realized midway through 2017, that 2016 prepared me for all the awesomeness I experienced this year. The pain made me stronger, and the wonderful moments were bigger than they seemed. We always seem to hang on to the negative vs positive. Like all those surveys – we will tell 10 people about a terrible experience but only 3 about a great experience.

Why we do this, is a whole other conversation, but let’s stay with the “new year” idea. We are always looking forward to something new. And I mean, don’t get me wrong, my blog title is all about New Beginnings! lol – But I also try and live with a feeling or ideal that every day has the opportunity for a new beginning. I write about this often.. hence, the blog title. Point is.. let us use this time of “New” to look back and remember all the GOOD and bad. Let us learn and let us be better.

If the point of anything “new” is to “start over” or “make a change”, then let’s do that. If you can’t find it in your mindset to view every day as something new, and for some reason want to put the whole year on your shoulders all at once.. (lol sorry had to) at least use the year to create betterment all around. Truly use the “new” year as your brand new start. Make someone’s day. Make your own day. For as many days as you can.

Because next December 30th we’ll be back to the countdown and prepping for New Years Eve again.. and will it be a list of repeating boo-hoos?

So here’s to tomorrow, and January 1st, and 2nd, and 3rd… and February, and March, and so on..

Here’s to every day in 2018. To make everyday better and start anew every morning.

Here’s to really looking at the year as “New” and beginning again, and working to make even the smallest things better.

 

I wish for you all to stay wide-eyed and bushy-tailed, to find hope in the sunrises, and find peace with the sunsets. To keep believing in fairytales, and to remember that love will always win ❤

Thank you to my readers near and far, new and old. As difficult as the last few weeks have been, 2018 has a lot coming my way, and I hope my brain can stay focused enough so I can share it all with you.

 

Cheers!

 

 

the longest facebook post ever.

~ NewBeginnings ~ Leave a comment

Now don’t get upset, but this won’t be about the longest fb post ever.

Honestly, I’m partially happy that I didn’t go fb-happy during the holidays this year and here’s why..

I was too busy actually spending time with people.

And let me tell you, I tried! Hahaha I did.. part of me started getting frustrated at the fact that I was unable to post all the pictures and all my annoying Christmas, i.e. Jesus’ Birthday, cheer and New Years hopefulness. For the first time in a long time, I felt it was more important to actually absorb everything around me instead of trying to let people (who could prob care less anyway) know what I was doing, and how exciting! it all was.

I totally understand the concept and the importance of social media so don’t get me wrong. I understand that without it, friendships may not have been saved, or long-distance family time would be more than scarce. Trust me, it helps me everyday keep in touch with my long-distance loves ❤ I also know many a people who have met loves of their lives on social networks. But I also know how it has ruined relationships and hindered actual social lives.

If you have read anything of mine, you will know that I feel the spirit of any holiday (and/or birthday) should carry throughout the year, not just that day, or time; because we should be celebrating life and all it brings everyday. However, “reality” for most, isn’t my way of thinking. Knowing this, we should be more diligent in taking the time during those holidays that focus on family, friends, and sharing, and actually spend the time doing it vs telling internet people about it. And per usual, I am sorry that I always seem to get a little bit morbid.. But, the time we waste during those crucial moments, even just minutes, are minutes not spent with people we apparently love. Those minutes may come in handy one day.. when you are counting them down.

So my Christmas? If you’re still wondering.. was spent in NYC.. with family.. a new family at that, and even though they weren’t my own, they deserved all the love and magic.. and cupcakes! Christmas had to offer. Because that’s what Christmas is all about. Jesus.. (had to!) and family. (Which really go hand-in-hand if you know anything about Christianity) Anyway -rant.over- the entire time I was there, it wasn’t so much about what we were doing anyway, but who was doing what. Were we all together? Was someone still sleeping? And honestly, the best moments were the conversations around the kitchen table.. or possibly playing Heads Up (no, not 7up) because karaoke and karate are pretty similar.. just sayin.

And New Years? I might add.. Was also spent with family, mine this time, and some friends with lots of food and drink. Nothing too crazy, which is out-of-the-ordinary for me, but still splendid all the same.

This past year was another crazy chapter in my life-book. There were plenty roller-coaster moments.. some over-exaggerations, lots of emoji faces.. I laughed, I cried, and had more than enough learning-mistakes. I met several amazing people – two of which, keep me on my toes, and refuse to let me live by a plan.. and more in the moment ❤ – and I made some overly-amazing friends. I survived my first year back in the sate of my birth and full-circled back to one of the best companies out there that was so gracious to offer me a new, great job. I survived the darkest of times, a mechanical bull accident, my new job transition.. in the middle of the holidays, mind you.. which included a business trip two weeks before Christmas! and I even survived meeting my boyfriends’ family. AH!

My annoying optimism will admit, this was a perfect year.. just like all the rest. Because how can any year not be perfect if I’m still standing?

So here’s to another frustratingly-exciting, magically-wild, overly-emotional, and crazily-awesome year.

Cheers!