12 years ago come October, I moved across the country from Boston to the LA area with $3k in my pocket. I remember thinking: “What if I don’t make it in SoCal?!” And here we are, with what will be 11years and (9days shy of) 11months – I made it, and I’m doing it again lol.
I posted a reel on my IG about a week ago of a preacher speaking about those who play the victim in problems that they created. It resonated with me on so many levels especially the last 10 seconds: “Spend more time with people with whom you have a common future instead of a common past.” Yes, Amen!
And although the message really feeds into those who pull you down and try to create a stronghold on your choices, as well as toxic energy, I want to focus on the common future to common past. In the almost 12years I spent in CA, I was not able to create a community of friends or family. From where I stand now, I have one good friend left here in CA, and that friendship just blossomed in the past year. Always happens that way doesn’t it?! Lol. As the years went by, I kept thinking I found more people to add to my future, but in reality, most “friends” I met, only lasted a year or 3 – tops.
And as I turned the page to 2024, I realized how lonely CA had become for me. The people, and old friends, that I had known my whole life, including “family”, were no longer part of my daily, or weekly, or even monthly life, and my “friends” were rotating on an annual basis. I was finding more life in traveling just to see my good friends out of state, and vice versa. I found myself coming back to two realizations that I have blogged on before: : 1) just because you have known someone your whole life or are blood related, does not, by any means, mean they are meant to be in your every day life going forward. And 2) you meet people everyday, and even though initial connections do happen, it doesn’t mean all people you meet will become an integral part of your life either. I will be living by that mantra going forward of: “Spend more time with people with whom you have a common future instead of a common past.” As we have all learned, the past does nothing for us. It does not change, it holds us stagnant, even as recent as Yesterday. We forget that yesterday is part of the past. Today can change, tomorrow can definitely change. And the people in each of these parts of our lives hold the same energy. Stagnation, manipulation, holding you back – or hope, promise, opportunity, and experiences.
So as I begin packing, and feeling all sorts of sentimental, I think of why this decision is the right one for now. The people. Now, I of course have some people who have been in my life for years that are still by my side, but there are many who have been around that I am so happy to move on from. This new beginning is beyond the physical nature of people but more so mental and emotional ties that I am excited to release. And on the other side, those I have met in these past 12years in CA, that I have created solid relationships with (all of 3 people lol, and only one that’s left here) – I am fairly confident they will stay with me through this new adventure as well.
It’s that common future – I freakin LOVE that! Who in your life is adding to your FUTURE? Isn’t that a great thought to entertain? To know you have, even if just one person, to create life with. To share in successes, to be there when you don’t know your left pinky from your right knee. To laugh with you, and even better, to cry with you. To talk you out of negative thoughts and to raise you up, and be your hype-person. I love that “common future” concept so much – those people are your people. And let’s be clear for those who might read this literally – common future doesn’t mean you’re doing the same things together forever. My most favorite person in the whole, wide, world, lives on the other side of the country. She built a beautiful home in the woods, and created two of my most favorite, beautiful children – while I’m out here happy to rent and pay HOA fees for amenities, and being childless and constantly on a travel high, LOL. Two different lives that move, and grow, and create, together. It’s loyalty, it’s trust. It’s understanding dreams and aspirations and turning “differences” into bows tied with different colored string <3. Common future does not mean “same”. Common future is moving and progressing forward together, it’s constantly creating something new between each other.
In simple terms, anyone can be in your life, but the ones that hold value are the ones that continue to grow and change with you #future. Anyone can show up, or linger even, but if they are moving in a different direction, supporting your journey will be difficult.
So think about your “common future” people – continue to nurture those relationships, and be ok with making space or letting go of common past. You aren’t there anymore, you are here, today. I am so excited to have a handful of people growing with me, who never think I’m crazy for these moves and decisions, but see it as thriving and creating, and even finding possibility in their own lives, just as I do when they make changes or big decisions.
So let’s stay present and hopeful for tomorrow. And remember that you are who you surround yourself with, so make sure y’all at least have the same map on this journey.
till next time, xoxo
To New Beginnings 