Tag: career

fake rant.

~ NewBeginnings ~ Leave a comment

Haven’t posted a random rant in a while..

With my current state of instability, (I know my recent 3-yr anniversary post was uplifting, but I’ve actually been going through some emotional distress the past few weeks..) my patience has gone from 12689124325 to 0 in 2.3 seconds.

And in light of work not making life easier, I was reminded today at how damn fake people can be.

Never mind the random strangers of whom we run into on a daily basis in the coffee shop, at the bar, walking into your workplace.. etc.. there are the also the people you are required to see on a daily basis, and interact with.. more than you’re own damn family.. you guessed it. Your co-workers.

These people of whom that are supposed to be one of two things: Supportive peers who cheer you on when you do well.. and Open-armed min-friends who lift you up when things are a little down. In simple terms: Supporters and Teammates. Some select few even become good friends, and others, practically family. Most of the time though, it’s like playing a sport: get to the game work together and WIN! Then go home feeling accomplished.. hopefully. What is one of the main reasons people leave a certain job? more times than not – the people. Why do many people stay in jobs they don’t really like? (I was victim of this for 4 years before I moved to SoCal) you guessed it. The People. When there is respect, teamwork, and appreciation in the workplace, people tend to become more loyal than if it were the opposite.

Moving on however.. co-workers on the other hand, should NOT be: (although theres always a handful) fake.

And I know I’m talking co-workers here, but really this goes out to everyone.. all of you need to quit it too.

I get being courteous, and polite. But c’mon when you don’t speak to me on the reg as it is, and because I may be potentially showing my weaknesses today.. don’t be pretending you care today by saying things like: “Have a good night”.

Now, many of you will throw down the crazy card here, but hear me out.

I am so sick and tired of people who don’t actually care about your well being to say meaningless crap like this.

You know what would have been more appropriate? “Goodnight”, or even, “I’ll see you tomorrow”. Why you ask? Well because for honesty sake, these are true statements. Facts. Just like “Hello” and “Goodbye”, “Goodnight” is just a general greeting. And “I’ll see you tomorrow” (aside from all those “tomorrow is never a promise” vibes) there’s pretty much a 99.9% chance I will, in fact, see you tomorrow. When you don’t actually care about how my night will be – you’re just pulling meaningless small talk. And all that does is create awkwardness and a false sense of care. Because if you cared how my night would be, you would have asked how my day was first.

Keep it real people! I have to see you, EIGHT HOURS A FREAKIN DAY. No need for small talk. We get that enough from strangers. And YOU PEOPLE (yah I said it) are co-workers – people we are supposed to respect and work together towards a common goal with. In all my experience of playing competitive sports, teamwork does not succeed when people are fake and lie to teammates. This just creates conflict and trust issues.

Me, of all people am pretty real when it comes to life. Most people can’t handle it and thats fine. No one likes honesty. Sadly, this is a truth in our society. But if you know me at all, work with me, am friends with me, whatever.. you should know by now that I put effort where effort is due with people. If I don’t want to talk to you, I won’t – and I’ll even tell you why if you ask me.

If I’m making efforts – you got it, I care. And again, lets be clear – I’m not an asshole in the office or to the general public. I am polite, courteous, and professional. Sometimes a little sassy, but I mean, you’ve got to be when you are a female in a male-dominated industry. But back to my point, we all play favorites (stop denying it) so those I like more than others, yes, of course I make additional efforts to have lunch with you, and GENUINELY (big word here people) care about how your day is.

And I mean, there are plenty of people I work with that are just “Hello”, “Goodbye” people, we don’t mind, it doesn’t offend us! We still show up every day and do our job.

So to round this up, if you don’t care, shut your hole. If you want to care be GENUINE (AH! theres that word again!) and make an effort on a daily basis, not just when it looks like I want to punch you, or cry for that matter. (I told you, I’m a little vulnerable right now).

rant.over.

mush.

~ NewBeginnings ~ Leave a comment

That’s exactly how my brain feels this week..

I had forgotten my study materials at work this afternoon, and so to my frustration of not being able to study (I mean how SAD is that?! I was upset about NOT studying!? sheesh) I decided to head into the internet hands first! with a glass of wine in one of them, of course..

And with hesitation (since it had been so long) I came back onto my wordpress page. Whoa. I mean, this might not mean much to others, but man, was I absolutely SHOCKED to see that people had still been.. reading..!? I have not written in probably over 4 months.. although I’ve had an itch to.. but ‘life happened’.

And it was a great life I might add.. I got a new job.. which is where 90% of my time at the moment has been immersed into. You see, I have these awesome exams I need to take in order to hold licenses. And boy, let me tell you! Licensing exams are just a bucket o’ fun! {insert sarcasm here} Especially when they run between 3-6hr long (depending on the license). I’m currently studying for my 2nd, and hopefully final, exam for a while..

Anyway, this job literally has changed my life. I can’t say I love it however, one day I may.. and I know that sounds crazy because you are thinking.. wtf?! how can this change your life and you NOT love it!? Explanation: This job allows me to do the things I love.. and things I have never been able to do. It has made me more grateful that I ever thought I could be. I know it’s kept me from my writing, which is definitely something that I love, but with most things comes sacrifice.. and that usually doesn’t last long. Like studying.

This job has provided me the opportunity to do things I never thought I could.. like buy a friend dinner without counting my pennies. or buying a second pair of theatre tickets because me and my friend are sort of idiots and showed up at the wrong show time.. AND not even being upset about it. Better yet, buying a plane ticket to visit my brother and his farm of 4 kiddos without even flinching! (I haven’t seen them in 2 years!) And I know money does not solve world problems, it doesn’t even solve all of mine. Mind you, I’m no millionaire.. I can’t even say I’m thousand-aire status.. but the little I have compliments the humble lifestyle I live, and in turn, provides me opportunities that I never had before.

Second, and more importantly.. the reason I can’t say I love this job. I don’t love it, I appreciate it. It requires me to work on things I struggle in. So, when my natural talents emerge they are more prominent than my opportunities, and in turn, makes me realize how much better of a person I can be.

Even my health habits. When I am stressed, I am in the no-fun-zone. I stress eat.. and with stress eating, comes bad eating habits.. with bad eating habits come de-motivation.. and so on. I went running for the first time in 4 months this past weekend. Man did it hurt. I was sore for two days. And I loved it. I was partially sad too, just at the fact that I had allowed myself to let it go this far. But again, it made me realize I could be better.. It made me appreciate the hard work I put into myself the past year and motivated me to find better solutions to combatting stress.

You see.. this is life’s paradox: you become grateful and more appreciative of things when you have them less, or they are taken away. I never understood why.. why can’t we be grateful everyday? but its something I think no one can understand. And it’s the little things. Like writing for me. I had this awful feeling like I was letting my journal down the minute I realized how long it had been since I last scribbled a pen in it. But the minute I can’t study for the second largest exam of my career (eek!) I head straight back to my happy place. (It’s a strange balance that is difficult to find.. needs/wants.)

And just like I mentioned in the beginning of this post, I almost shed a tear seeing that people were still reading, even though my head was in books the past 4 months trying to absorb more knowledge in fields that do not come natural to me. I appreciated every single reader.. I even said “Thank you” when I looked at the past months and saw that there were still interested parties out there. To those little things I thank this job.

Once all this studying is over and I’m back to running 2 days a week, yoga 3, and volleyball on the weekends (or any sort of combination really 😉 ) and back to me-time at the cafe with my laptop, journal and cappuccino.. I hope I start to love my job. Everything is still fairly new.. but I hope I eventually end up where I am meant to be.

No matter what.. I’m just happy that it’s still the little things that keep me thankful, grateful, and appreciative of of all the good.. and even the stressful.

 

Cheers!

the longest facebook post ever.

~ NewBeginnings ~ Leave a comment

Now don’t get upset, but this won’t be about the longest fb post ever.

Honestly, I’m partially happy that I didn’t go fb-happy during the holidays this year and here’s why..

I was too busy actually spending time with people.

And let me tell you, I tried! Hahaha I did.. part of me started getting frustrated at the fact that I was unable to post all the pictures and all my annoying Christmas, i.e. Jesus’ Birthday, cheer and New Years hopefulness. For the first time in a long time, I felt it was more important to actually absorb everything around me instead of trying to let people (who could prob care less anyway) know what I was doing, and how exciting! it all was.

I totally understand the concept and the importance of social media so don’t get me wrong. I understand that without it, friendships may not have been saved, or long-distance family time would be more than scarce. Trust me, it helps me everyday keep in touch with my long-distance loves ❤ I also know many a people who have met loves of their lives on social networks. But I also know how it has ruined relationships and hindered actual social lives.

If you have read anything of mine, you will know that I feel the spirit of any holiday (and/or birthday) should carry throughout the year, not just that day, or time; because we should be celebrating life and all it brings everyday. However, “reality” for most, isn’t my way of thinking. Knowing this, we should be more diligent in taking the time during those holidays that focus on family, friends, and sharing, and actually spend the time doing it vs telling internet people about it. And per usual, I am sorry that I always seem to get a little bit morbid.. But, the time we waste during those crucial moments, even just minutes, are minutes not spent with people we apparently love. Those minutes may come in handy one day.. when you are counting them down.

So my Christmas? If you’re still wondering.. was spent in NYC.. with family.. a new family at that, and even though they weren’t my own, they deserved all the love and magic.. and cupcakes! Christmas had to offer. Because that’s what Christmas is all about. Jesus.. (had to!) and family. (Which really go hand-in-hand if you know anything about Christianity) Anyway -rant.over- the entire time I was there, it wasn’t so much about what we were doing anyway, but who was doing what. Were we all together? Was someone still sleeping? And honestly, the best moments were the conversations around the kitchen table.. or possibly playing Heads Up (no, not 7up) because karaoke and karate are pretty similar.. just sayin.

And New Years? I might add.. Was also spent with family, mine this time, and some friends with lots of food and drink. Nothing too crazy, which is out-of-the-ordinary for me, but still splendid all the same.

This past year was another crazy chapter in my life-book. There were plenty roller-coaster moments.. some over-exaggerations, lots of emoji faces.. I laughed, I cried, and had more than enough learning-mistakes. I met several amazing people – two of which, keep me on my toes, and refuse to let me live by a plan.. and more in the moment ❤ – and I made some overly-amazing friends. I survived my first year back in the sate of my birth and full-circled back to one of the best companies out there that was so gracious to offer me a new, great job. I survived the darkest of times, a mechanical bull accident, my new job transition.. in the middle of the holidays, mind you.. which included a business trip two weeks before Christmas! and I even survived meeting my boyfriends’ family. AH!

My annoying optimism will admit, this was a perfect year.. just like all the rest. Because how can any year not be perfect if I’m still standing?

So here’s to another frustratingly-exciting, magically-wild, overly-emotional, and crazily-awesome year.

Cheers!

a small rant.

~ NewBeginnings ~ Leave a comment

For some reason the billboard music awards has conjured up some random emotion and thoughts.

So what do I do? Pour myself a glass of wine.

It has been a very tough week at work, and if you read my last post, you would have seen a small glimpse of my how I feel about my job. Speaking of jobs, I have been actively hunting, like the old school hunter-gatherer type, for a new career. It has been thoroughly frustrating because I love writing and consider myself naturally creative. However, my most recent work experience has been managing a 1.5M dollar bra and undie store. With that, comes offers only from sales groups or retailers. It amazes me how often companies miss the 2nd largest portion of my resume which includes working for one of the largest financial institutions in the US, graphic design, marketing, social networking, blogging, and even some admin work. Having done so much professionally seems to be a problem. I don’t specialize in one thing. I specialize in knowing HOW to do many things.

Even then, how did I become crumpled up and stuffed into a tiny hole of an idea that I know nothing more than how to manage a retail store? More so, aren’t management skills important? Long story short, I manage up to 25 associates during our busy “holiday” seasons and have a fairly good retention rate, especially for retail. And last year as a manager, I had the highest key performance indicators in my store. That means, during the times I ran business on the sales floor, I had the highest average dollar sale, units per transaction, and customer conversion rate combined.

Lets Wayne’s World this moment and take us to Friday {{waving hands and bee-doo-doop sounds}} As I was waiting for my laundry to dry at the ‘mat (as I like to call it) ‘Live! with Kelly’ was on. I freakin love that show! I believe Reggie Bush was the co-host, and Krysten Ritter was a guest. On the show there was a moment where Krysten was talking about how she got discovered. Kelly then began talking about talent and being discovered. She said something along the lines of: Some of the best talent is still undiscovered because they couldn’t make it to an audition or something.. She continued with a tiny discussion of uncontrollables and some controllables that hold people back from being discovered.

This got me thinking about my blog. And though this little blog of mine, is not as ‘big’ per say, as I would like it to be, I at least have some followers, and many friends who read along. But I also began to think.. is there something I’m not doing.. or worse, AM doing.. that is holding my blog back? And in essence, holding myself back from a career that I would be happy in? Better yet, flourishing in? And making a positive social contribution to? Am I not marketing myself properly? Does my blog suck!?

{{waving hands and bee-doo-doop sounds}}

Oh hello there again Billboard Music Awards. *takes sip of wine.

So here I am again, job hunting and getting frustrated that my natural and previous talents are being smoked-screened by this retail business. I guess its partially my fault since I have been searching at probably the worst time of the year because I am competing with recent grads heading into the job market. Thats another thing I would love to know: how can a 22yr old with no professional experience be more valuable than me? Now, I’m not saying recent grads aren’t valuable, I mean, we have med school grads, science grads, techies, art students even, who clearly have something I don’t. A skill I can’t do. I just wonder though, with a Communications degree myself, and a minor in Business/Marketing, why is it that being a 31yr old with professional experience makes me seem INvaluable? Is it because young grads technically will be alive longer than me? I mean, I’m still on track to make it another 40 to even 60 more years!

Or maybe its that thing.. those uncontrollables.. or maybe its the controllables.. Maybe I’ll just start doing cartwheels in front of all the companies I want to work for. Is that good marketing? Either way, I really need to figure this out, because I think the wine is starting to get to me..