Tag: blogging

continuing on..

~ NewBeginnings ~ Leave a comment

So, I’m almost done with this 56-page Positive Psychology book by Hans Henrik Knoop. Lol I want to say I’m a slow reader, but I’m not – this book just makes me have to re-read pages to understand it! I made it to the health section, but what I found even more interesting was a section about hedonic adaptation, which means:

“you get used to good things; they gradually “become the norm” so that you become blind to pleasant and well-functioning things – which seen from the outside could make you seem like an ungrateful wretch.” -HHK

It goes on a little more to talk about, how you may see yourself from the inside during those moments you ask yourself why you are not happier than you are. This was enlightening to me, not because I’ve never heard this before, because I have, but more so, it was wonderful to read that yet another psychologist has to remind us to be grateful for things.  Don’t quote me on this, but I believe it was the Gratitude Diaries by Janice Kaplan that went into more detail about this idea, in regards to: you are happiest when planning something or the anticipation of something. Sort of like planning a trip or shopping.. it’s in the doing that is the highlight versus getting to the destination, or taking objects out of a bag. There have been studies on mental outlook and emotional happiness when comparing these stages, i.e. the doing/planning vs the having. Positive Psychology also mentions this idea, though not as thorough, but the same idea of attaining something versus anticipating it.

I am riding in this boat right now.. I literally just said to a dear friend of mine recently in a conversation, “this is why I can’t have nice things”. Because for me, I am excited about getting something or doing something, but once it comes, I’m like – ok what now? Not only that, my mental state has brought me to a point of going further in the idea that, “something good has happened, now lets prepare for the bad”. I know where these feelings come from, as I wrote earlier in the month, but it still makes me sad. Because if you know me at all, I am probably one of the most grateful people out there. Literally in my 5min journal app (these apps!) every morning it asks me what I’m grateful for.. and the first is always God, second is always “Today”. Seriously, I know that sounds a little lame, but I am that person who reminds people.. there could be the alternative – so be grateful for now, it’s all we have. And maybe my stress has inflicted this, not-as-grateful feeling, or vise versa. Either way, reading another book that discusses this was a lovely reminder.

**Honestly, for those of you reading, if you get a chance, I highly, HIGHLY recommend the Gratitude Diaries. One of my absolute, favorite motivational books. 

I can honestly go on forever about gratitude and gratefulness and how they create happiness/positivity, but I’ll leave you with the basic idea of how Positive Psychology simply explained it:

Remember what you have, even after the planning/buying/anticipating is over. And be grateful for the simple things, always find them fascinating, don’t allow yourself to see them as “normal”. Because normalcy is relative when there are still countries and people without “basics” such as clean water.

When you have the mindset of gratefulness, positivity usually follows close behind 🙂

 

🙂

 

time flies when you’re.. in the middle of a challenge!

~ NewBeginnings ~ 2 Comments

16 more days! Wholie Molies! Honestly, I never thought I’d see the day. This challenge has been great for me, but darnit, it’s also been trying! I am just pumped that in these 31 days, so far I have only missed one day.. and it was for good reason 🙂

Note – I haven’t finished that Positive Psychology book yet, because I did some yoga tonight peeps! Who’s excited?! I honestly would love to know the ‘why’ and ‘how’ of my motivation, because one day (or most days lately) I get out of work, am depressed, stressed, overly anxious, and in bed by 7pm. And throughout the day I’m psyching myself up.. like “Yah! you will go to yoga tonight! You WILL make it to the sauna to de-stress and de-toxify!” And I usually feel like I might actually do it.. yet most days lately, the min I know I can leave the office, I deflate – In a good way really, it’s like a release of some stress but it’s sort of a downer because I physically and mentally have no strength to do anything else other than eat so I can stay alive, and go to bed and sort of hide.

So today was definitely the little lift I needed in my spirits. So proud of myself for not sulking and letting go today. I’m also pretty pumped that Iv’e made it half way to 31! It’s like a little milestone in March. I did sort of put on my shoulders a little extra challenge with yoga.. to try and do at least a 20 min sequence for the next week.. (baby steps people!) My body definitely isn’t what it was 5 months ago 😦

Today kind of hurt, and I’m sure I’ll feel it tomorrow, but a challenge within a challenge, is the ultimate challenge!

Thank you to all those who continue to read and follow this March journey, and hopefully I have some good stuff to write about in the next two weeks 🙂

 

🙂

 

trying to stay positive

~ NewBeginnings ~ Leave a comment

So I’m reading this book: Positive Psychology by Hans Henrik Knoop. It’s a small, short read, I’m just about half way done and I just about an hour ago – with snack breaks lol.

I really like the concept of building our lives with a positive narrative vs our natural gravitation to the negative. Because isn’t so true that no matter how “good” things are we still worry about the bad? I am definitely one of those people. It’s like a Murphy’s Law complex of ‘whatever can happen, will happen’. And I do joke on occasion of ‘this is why I can’t have nice things’. Because for me, it’s more so when something “good” happens, I begin to wait for the counter bad effect.

And I am a positive person by nature, mind you. I like to think of myself as a Positive-Realist. I always see both/all sides of any, and all situations, but I almost always lean on the side of the positive. But this book makes you think beyond that. I heard a little about it before I started reading, as I borrowed this from my best friend.. One section in particular that I couldn’t wait to read about was health. And how when you are sick.. really your body is healthy because it is working to fight whatever virus or bacteria is in your system.

It’s funny, because when I posted my “sick” post a few days back, I had already heard of this idea from my friend, and wanted to mention that in the post. But I didn’t want to keep elaborating on that in a post that wasn’t relevant. But since I’m talking about this neat little book, let’s dive in for a hot sec. I honestly thought this idea was the best example of Positive Psychology.

So you are sick.. and the auto-feeling = miserable. I of course am at fault as well. But imagine being aware of sickness.. yes it is uncomfortable, but beginning your thoughts on: “Thank you self for being well enough to fight whatever nasty is in me”. And because I had heard this idea prior, I did take a moment to tell myself, “ok self, fine I’ll allow this one-nostril thing because you are fighting and that means you are working properly”. And literally for a moment, I was like, a little proud of myself! Lol – because I then continued my thought process into how I take care of myself, and do my best to stay healthy. I eat well 95% of the time, (let’s be real, weekends don’t count) and although a little off the wagon lately because I manage stress poorly, I am normally active, whether running, yoga, or volleyball. So I thanked myself for taking care of me, and providing my body what it needs to keep fighting.. because as we know, bodies shut down a lot, and if my immune system decided not to fight one day, I would be in a very different situation here. In the end, it did provide a moment of seeing things on the bright side, so-to-speak.

Part of that last point though, brings me to my terrible stress. As mentioned, eating-wise I always give myself a break on the weekends. Usually it’s just one day to be honest, but I still give myself a break, because everything is wonderful in moderation – especially ice cream 🙂 And although I like to coin myself as the ‘worlds best stress eater’, my stress effects me more in my active state. I am hoping this book goes into that somewhere with the positivity, and maybe I’ll do a follow-up once I finish, which most likely will be tomorrow. So here, I am trying to think ‘positive’ in regards to stress.. or is my stress due to not being positive?! That’s possible, because stress is a negative reaction. Hmm.. All I know is that I need a check up because my heart palpitations are back, I need to see my chiropractor, and I need yoga.

In all, I am enjoying the study of Positive Psychology, and literally, the book is like 56 pages, so if you can, find it and give it a glance. I definitely recommend this book to the masses especially if it can help our society’s thought process. Stay Positive my friends.

 

🙂

to forgive, or not to forgive {edited draft}

~ NewBeginnings ~ Leave a comment

The idea of forgiveness I’m not against, but I absolutely can’t stand how people make excuses for it. Here’s the basic definition of Forgive via a dictionary:

forgive: verb | for • give |

: to stop feeling anger toward : to stop blaming

: to stop feeling anger about

I’ve talked before (not sure if I did on this blog) that “Life is simple, it’s the people that make it complicated.” Because, talk to anyone about forgiveness and you’ll get everything from the basic answer above to several misconstrued answers that have nothing to do with forgiving at all, but instead are excuses or explanations based on a current situation.

This perception thing really hurts my soul too.. because in life, I understand that we all see things differently but,  2 + 2 will always equal 4. There are many constants in this life are are just plain fact, but with the evolution of the human mind, we use that to convolute our ideas as to why we do the things we do vs just owning the fact that we are making excuses – for whatever reason. “Because I love them”, Because it’s my child”, “Because its my Mother” , “Because.. work”. Whatever the reason, its still an excuse vs facing reality. But that’s a whole other blog post..

I digress..

Anyway, life IS simple, so is forgiveness. To forgive is simply to stop blaming and feeling angry about something. Forgiveness isn’t allowing that person or event back in your life. Forgiveness isn’t second chances. Forgiveness isn’t a blank slate. Forgiveness itself is an act, a verb – a doing of something. Therefore second chances, or allowing someone to continue to take from you in a negative way, have nothing to do with the act of forgiveness. Those actions are separate in themselves. For example, you can’t run and skate at the same time, those are two actions that are separate from each other. Most actions are this way.. Even eating and drinking.. you can argue – you take a sip of a beverage while chewing – but if you notice, you can’t chew and swallow at the same time. Again.. two separate actions.

Whether it’s me being a Christian, or just being a good person, I believe wholeheartedly in forgiveness and to forgive often.. but I don’t go inviting negativity back into my life. In being a good person, you love thy neighbor, and be kind to one another – but nowhere in those teachings does it ever say go bring back negative parts of that into your life. So when I hear, “I forgave them, thats why we got back together” or “I forgave them, that’s why I’m trusting them with my car again.” Do as you please, but if that situation was not positive in the first place, forgiveness will not make it better. Because again, forgiveness does not change anything in itself. That is a separate action and on top of that, effort, in order for something to change.

This is partially why so many expectations become disappointments. People think to forgive means it’s all better, like it never happened. It did happen, and there are still feelings involved even if anger isn’t one of them. Forgiveness opens yourself to happiness and hope, it allows you to find peace.. Not empty more space for the negative.

So go on forgive, but don’t forget. In all, forgiveness is an action for yourself, to let something go, but the reality of it all is that it is still there – it’s just that anger is no longer associated with it. Allow forgiveness to do what its meant, remove blame and anger – which in turn should move you into happiness and letting go.

 

 

Perception {draft}

~ NewBeginnings ~ Leave a comment

I’ve written about perception before.. stating how life is what WE see of it.. and in reality there are many perceptions. Like the example of a car accident. 5 people witness it – you get 5 stories. But the thing about reality is.. there are still underlying truths and constants that we can’t deny. So in this car accident for example, the 5 people will tell you how they saw or perceived it. However, one thing is fact – there was a car accident. One car hit another.

We’ve come to a point where we only care how WE see things vs how things actually are. We care only about what WE believe vs what the truths behind the situation are. Someone doesn’t like you – you can tell yourself all day long that “One day we’ll be happy, one day they will appreciate me”. That’s great – we can’t survive without hope, however, be careful lying to yourself. Because you can’t change others. We can only change ourselves. So, of course, is it possible that person may one day be like, “oh gosh, you are great!” Of course! Anything is possible right!? But you can’t negate the PROBABLE.

Fact is this person does not like you.. For whatever reason. Whatever THEIR perception is of the situation doest matter, just like your hope.. fact right now is they don’t like you. The end.

And of course, I’m not telling anyone to give up on their hopes and dreams but you just have to accept the facts that come with them.

So be mindful of when you fall into conversations of, “well I see” or “I think” or “I feel”.. Because, that’s great! But it doest take away the facts of whatever the situation holds.

 

don’t marry me {draft}

~ NewBeginnings ~ Leave a comment

i don’t ever want someone to ask me to marry them.

i want someone to ask me to love them for longer than eternity.

i want someone to ask me to stand by them until we both can no longer stand.

i want someone to ask me to be a part of their soul for a thousand forevers.

i want someone to ask me to give of myself to them until it is no longer humanly possible.

i want someone to ask me to take adventures with them for as long as memories will last.

 

I don’t ever want someone to ask me to marry them.

I don’t want until death do us part.

I want more than “marriage”.

I want only death to part us, but for forever to hold us.

inaudible sounds

~ NewBeginnings ~ Leave a comment

As I get older, I realize my body can’t adapt to temperature change like it used to. I went on a mini-vaca for my Birthday back in February to a cold destination.. for only 3 1/2 days. On day 3 I already started feeling stuffed up and achy.. how!? I had only been in the snow for 3 days! and was already packing to head home! When I got home, my brain was numb and I could barely speak without sounding like the Charlie Brown teacher.. Sneezing actually felt AMAZING. And of course, after another 3 days being home, I finally began to feel better..

So I’ll assume I have a 3-day-weather-window where if it changes “drastically” in three days, I guess I’m bound to get sick. Exhibit A: Fast forward to today – Literally last week the weather started getting SoCal beautiful, about high 60s into the 70s, sunny, not really warm per say, but it was nice compared to the 50-60 degrees, cloudy and rainy we’ve been experiencing. One day in particular, I believe it was this past Wednesday, was like 80 degrees out and warm. Low and behold, by yesterday afternoon (Sunday) my face began to feel like a balloon.

So.Annoying. Even though I was in bed by like 9pm last night, it didn’t seem to help because today I sound like a muffled cartoon once more. And can we just talk about how it’s always one nostril at a time?! Like c’mon nose you’re supposed to be a team! Well, I guess if you think about it, it may be a good thing? Because I can’t really imagine both air passages feeling this way at the same time.. ok sorry nose, I take that back, go ahead and take turns.

But still, so uncomfortable. But also.. when that nostril finally tingles and makes way for air?! It’s like I’m reborn! It’s almost too much air! How?! But also, so AMAZING.

All in all, being sick isn’t really fun, but it can at least be slightly entertaining. I’ll be paying attention to how long this lasts.. I don’t really want 3 to be my lucky number, but I guess having an expected pattern is better than a 5-day flu.

 

🙂

 

40 days and 40 nights

~ NewBeginnings ~ Leave a comment

My dad is in town, and for those who are reading this and know me, that means church on Sundays! I mean, I have gone to church without my father before, but those churches are not Catholic churches. And while I can’t say I “enjoy” being in a Catholic church and all that structure and feeling like God is always angry.. It is slightly comforting to still know by heart every bit of every prayer, (with old-school language I might add.. I never learned these “new” words they have updated to) and to sort of reminisce about grade school.

So let’s just talk about with how happy I was just for the fact that today was the first Sunday of Lent! A couple quick things here, I love the season of Lent and I am also a believer of a higher power – one of which I call God. Also, I’m not quite sure how I feel about churches, but I have always found it endearing how people find comfort in feeling a part of something by “praying” together. (This is a whole other post in itself) And let’s be clear here – I am a believer, but I am not by any means, telling any of you to believe something that you don’t. Nor am I trying to persuade – I like to believe I am a proper Christian who lives by the choice that God gave us, to believe or not to believe. Therefore, I am no judge or a prophet – I just hope you all are good people, but if you aren’t a good person.. I may judge a little bit lol 😉

Anywhoo – Lent! Yay for lent! Lol I love this time of year because as I explained, with much more sarcasm and swear words, to a dear friend of mine: It gives me a reason to challenge myself, make me a better person. And for me, because I do feel this sort of, “higher meaning” behind it, I actually stick to it. My percent of failure at what I have chosen for Lent every year is probably an average of about 90% success.. There have definitely been years where I have given up, or slipped, but more times than not, I uphold the challenge and am sometimes sad when it’s over, because I want to know how long I can REALLY go without bread before I break into a bakery in the middle of the night just to smell it!

I continued the conversation by saying to her, (she who is not a church-goer or religiously inclined per say) I think this is a great personal experience for everyone to go through because whether a believer or not, the point in Life, or with God’s work, is to challenge ourselves. To make ourselves better, to find fulfillment and find a bigger purpose than just – wake up, work, die. Now I’m not saying Lent changes lives and makes us all open non-profits to save babies, or puppies, or trees, but what I am saying is that giving yourself a challenge during Lent or in August, whenever you want, proves to yourself what you are capable of. I like the season of Lent however, because one: I follow it anyway, and two: a lot of people seem to, even if they aren’t exactly religious, so thats a great support system for any challenge you put yourself into these next 40 days (or 36 now if you want to get technical). It’s a great way to help each other and hold ourselves accountable. And here’s a wonderful quote I found about Lent:

“It’s almost looked at as a sort of “spring-cleaning” for your life.” heavy.com

I thought that article was a nice, little, quick explanation of Lent, and have I mentioned that quote is wonderful?!

I pretty much did a “Spring Cleaning” at home yesterday! Lol – Imagine doing that with your life once a year. Like a 3 day cleanse to kick start better eating, Lent gives us a reason to challenge oneself in hopes to kick start into something better ahead.

And again,  if you feel strongly about staying as far away from any religious ties, pick a different time of year – your birthday, an anniversary.. I just challenge you.. to challenge yourself! I feel like if we challenged ourselves more often, we may see new sides of ourselves – We would view life and/or certain situations differently. Just like with me, as mentioned a couple days ago, I like challenging myself anyway, new yoga class, pushing to a 10k run, whatever. This blog post is day 5 of a “blog challenge” I gave myself after my “quote challenge” from my Birthday month! So ok, I’m a little bit of an overachiever when it comes to challenges.. Lol. But just as I found some insight from the quotes I found in February, I am seeing a new determination during this “blog challenge” that I haven’t had in some time. I’m using my brain differently on a daily basis trying to think of something to share – it makes me look at every day differently, thinking.. how can I tell this story? Or even if I have a frustrating day, this challenge forces me to at least share that frustration in words even if it’s written poorly.

The point is, it’s making me DO vs just thinking about it. I had been frustrated at myself for not keeping up this blog and writing to my full potential. And honesty, I was super scared I wouldn’t have enough material for 31 days – OMG. I literally JUST realized I began this blog challenge on the first day of LENT! Ash Wednesday was March 1st this year! WHA?! I’ve been challenging myself from the start! Never mind the bread thing! 😀

That seriously just made my day! Ok so to finish up here, I hope you all take from this an idea of a challenge. Whether it’s giving up bread (harder than it looks I tell ya), taking a 30-day yoga challenge, or taking the GMATs (go big or go home amiright?!). Whatever it is, I hope you find something new, something that makes you think a little bit differently about what is around you, something that makes you proud of yourself ❤

Good Luck! 🙂

 

 

 

oh sn-app!

~ NewBeginnings ~ Leave a comment

Can we just talk about this for a hot sec? Apps – on your phone, on your tablet.. wherever..

I was just currently using a coloring book app and my 5min Journal app.

Two things that once required actual work: writing in a journal and coloring in a book.

What has become of us?! Honestly, speaking solely on behalf of myself, I mostly use the coloring app when I’m bored and at the laundromat. The 5min Journal, I added as a complement to my normal leather-bound journal to keep me focused and as stress-free as possible while I’m at work.

But I think of these things as I recall a co-worker yelling in my door as he walks by.. “They don’t teach cursive in schools anymore, did you know that!?” and wonder.. is this why communication is dying? We are so consumed by “easier” and “convenient” we have lost touch of authenticity.

And I know this conversation happens on a daily basis. Even as this tool of a computer helps me get a few random thoughts across to the blogging public vs reading a paper or magazine. I too am victim of some sort of “easy” technology. But when did technology become a tool for us to no longer think for ourselves? Because let’s be real, a blogging site is more so a network of writers sharing thoughts and ideas, we still need to think in order to type. So this version of technology has been a positive impact, and accomplished what it was meant to – bringing people and ideas together. But something like a coloring app? There’s no more thoughtfulness as to choice of color, working that pencil or crayon even, blending colors, or even accepting a color that you can’t go back on now.. you really should have chosen the forest green.. 😐 I mean there are apps for dating now.. meeting real people! How do you use 35 seconds of an app and a photo to know someone?

I don’t know, maybe my age is showing.. I mean, I remember when the internet was born. I remember dial-up, and AOL.. It’s fascinating and scary all at the time.

And yet we still have these conversations that the world is losing touch, relying on technology to a fault. Yet there is never any change. We don’t change our process, we just fall deeper into technology, and apps in particular, that take something meaningful, like meeting a person, capturing memories, expressing yourself, and even creating art.. and turning it into the same motion as changing the channel on a TV.

 

 

 

The first..

~ NewBeginnings ~ Leave a comment

..day.

Here I am, as promised – I can do this! And don’t worry, I won’t name every post in conjunction with the days of the month. Today really feels like the first of something though. I do often feel this way this time of year because my Birthday month is officially over, and I view this time as my New Year.

But today was a little different. It began as most days do, get up, get ready, go to work.. I was feeling good, only working a 1/2 day motivated me into being productive. I got a lot done, then headed out into the most gorgeous weather.. so unexpected! It was absolutely beautiful out. I went to get lunch..

I had a paleo smoothie and a steak bowl with rice and veggies from, where else! Whole Foods 🙂 Sounds pretty decent, right? But that’s where everything changed. I don’t know if it was what I ate, or maybe the sun was confusing my senses.. But all of a sudden, I just wanted to go home. I looked at myself, having to unbutton the top button of my pants thinking.. has it really gotten to this!? I was uncomfortable.

Mind you, I’m a small person by nature anyway, but there is one time in my life where I sort of “let go” of myself so bad that I was uncomfortable. Well now, let’s make that two. The last time this happened, was about 6 years ago. A year after that, I made a huge life change.

This time around, I will admit, after the wedding I was in back in November, I pulled like a wild I’M DONE moment and wanted to eat a cookie, or 25. Stress from work did not help the situation, and I am a terrible stress-eater. I stopped going to the gym, yoga, my trainer, running. And now here I am.. almost 4 months later with my “fat” pants that now also no longer fit. I actually pulled these pants out of my year-old Salvation Army pile.. yes, that bad.. They no longer fit me. Well now, they no longer fit in a whole new way 😦

I’m sure this  happens to the best of us, where “life just keeps happening” and we “lose track of time”, and ourselves. Until that one day.. today apparently for me.. you look at yourself, and don’t even know what you’re looking at anymore.

It’s funny because this feeling has many facets.. I also felt this way right after my divorce, not in this sense of pant size necessarily, but emotionally. Then again, I also wasn’t eating at the time, so my pant size probably did make me sad at the time also. Anyway, I didn’t let myself go per say, but I lost who I was and didn’t know who was staring me in the face anymore. Point is, my health journey encompasses so many aspects of other life journeys that in a time like today, it’s sort of humbling to stare at myself and question what is actually happening to have put me in this situation.

Interestingly enough, it’s also day 1 of my personal Blog Challenge.. I almost didn’t even open up my computer. I made myself feel better by shopping online – got new “larger” pants for work, and other items sort of as punishment, because if I don’t get my act together, those items won’t fit. I can’t believe I even admitted that.

Anyway, I “forced” myself to blog today – I made myself a promise, and if there is one person I always challenge and work to make proud, it’s myself. So the plan is to use that same motivation on myself directly. Physically, mentally, emotionally. I can do this.

And to be clear, this has nothing to do with pant-size directly, but my comfort. More so, how I view myself. I don’t think anyone out there ever wants to look in a mirror and be disappointed. I didn’t want to disappoint myself by not typing at least 5 words today.. I can use that same motivation with myself.

Let’s see what other first days come out of this.