Tag: anniversary

the most wonderful time of the year

~ NewBeginnings ~ Leave a comment

It’s Birthdayyy Seasonnn! 🙂

I’m sure you newbies are wondering why the heck I enjoy ticking off another year of life off the tick-sheet, like it’s some kind of CELEBRATION?! Lmaooo well, another year, another New Beginning.

Birthday Season to me, as I know it is for others, is a time of reflection. Where were you this time last year? Where are you now? And not for anything, it doesn’t matter what happened or what you did. And this sounds cray coming from someone whose sole purpose in life is to travel and experience ALL THE THINGS. And I am so pumped of all the traveling and experiences I did/had the past year.

But what it really comes down to is.. Did you learn anything? About yourself, about others, about life? Anything? Did you at least learn what a good cup of coffee tastes like? Point is, I had a year of ups and downs almost as perfect as the dictionary can describe either action.

I started the first part of the year traveling, experiencing, feeling so free and determined, found passions in things, motivated to find a career with purpose. I struggled with a hint of heartache around May.. Then June happened.

Another loss in the family in the past 16mo. I didn’t talk about it much to you “outsiders” lol, but if you know anything about my family dynamic you understand. Losing my Nana last year was harder than ever expected, and this year was difficult in a different way. After having to be emotionally strong for others, I was off again traveling and experiencing things with no time to absorb the internal stress that was created. I know, white people problems, #sorrynotsorry.

Then mid-July came. I had already been struggling since June and been in therapy more than ever. That trip back “home” in June really took me to a place internally I never thought I’d have to deal with again. The resentment, anger, pain, other words that can’t nearly explain the emotional vomit that came flooding my insides. Through all this, I was still breaking my own heart thinking I could love someone enough to have them love me back (I know this is unrealistic and pathetic, stop judging). I shut my phone off for 2 weeks because the anxiety of seeing other people’s lives was actually painful.

Oh and the drinking – hahahaha I promise I don’t love drinking as much as I actually consumed during the summer months.

Depression set in. I barely got out of bed, except to drink, and work. Y’all are lucky if I showered. I was a complete and utter mess. Now mind you, I still trudged through life with a smile on my face, and did the only thing I know to do that makes me feel good. Give to others. Pep-talk? I’m there! Ride to the airport #obvi (I mean, I LOVE doing this anyway lol, lets be honest) Concert tickets? LETS DOOO THISSSS. Plane tickets?! I’ve given awayyyyy worseee.

And then fall and winter happened, and here we are! Lol, I know thats a huge zip through, but these past couple months started bringing the year into perspective.

I LEARNED:

1) It’s ok to not have a “good year” even though you still had MANY good things happen.

2) That although losses are difficult, whether in life, friendships, or relationships, those people and moments brought you here, and gave you understanding of something new.

3) People really do come and go as you need them. This pains my heart because I wish I could keep you all! But holding on too tight to anything: ropes, steering wheels, dog leashes, emotions.. lol, starts hurting more than letting go.

This is why I love Birthday Season, and join it with why I live by quotes – Someone, somewhere, has a way to put your emotions to words when you can’t.

They say (whoever they are) that “birthdays are good for your health.. people with more of them live longer.”

Sorry, lame joke, but for reals. This is why every year, every day, every moment, matters. We don’t know when our last day will be. All we know is now. So if you get another Birthday, CELEBRATE dammit! Hehehe

Reflect, learn, and be better. Not sure if you know this, but life isn’t a competition. What only matters is where each of us are going, and where our own paths lead us. Maybe thats why I love running, the only time to beat is what I ran last time. Me, my time.

Me, my life. You, your life.

Thankfully though, some of us will help and motivate each other through the next year. I love cheering at races and finish lines! I cry all sorts of happy tears, lol.

Be kind, celebrate yourselves, be present, and if you can, love, xoxo.

Cheers!

10/11/12

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I never even realized the date of my departure until this year.. I can’t remember who even mentioned it, but it was just a casual conversation of:

Me: “Yah, my 3 year anniversary is coming up this weekend! October 11th – I’ll never forget it.” 

Person who I don’t remember: “10/11/12 huh? Ha!”

I can’t believe I never noticed.. I wasn’t even trying to be ironic! Haha, but what I found so amazing about it, is that not only will 10/11/12 never happen again in our lifetime, but my fateful cross-country move – will also never happen again.

And by “happen again”, I mean, yah I might have another big move or something else as life-changing occur, but this move not only changed my life, it also created more than a new one.

When I think about that day.. omg. The crying. It was ridiculous. Like reeeaallyyy RIDICULOUS. I kept re-thinking the whole thing.. I was leaving a 5-year relationship, a 4-year job – this was the most stable my life had ever been.. It was comfortable. I kept yelling at myself: “I only have 3k in my pocket! I have no job, no where to live.. I’m 31 years old dammit.. WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?!?!”

But then 10pm PST came.. my flight had landed an hour late.. my cousin thought my plane had either crashed or I lied and ran back to Boston. Talk about an anxiety-filled first night! When I walked onto that tarmac at LGB it had been raining. It was warm, and I still remember the smell of the rain mixed with palm trees. It was like I was on vacation.

I wanted to kiss the wet ground, I was so happy. Every sad emotion was gone. I was now nervous.. Hopeful.. Excited.. Nervous.. Determined.. And did I mention, Nervous? Haha, but it was a great feeling.

Life hadn’t felt this promising since the first day of college. Except I now had more self-esteem, confidence, courage, sass, wisdom, and hopefulness. I had wanted this since I was 13. It was finally happening. I couldn’t decide where to start.

In one month I found a job, an apartment, and a best friend.

I never looked back.

Every new day that has passed, brought more new beginnings and new adventures. And boy, it’s been one heck of an adventure so far. Everyday is different, everyday is new. I never felt like that back east. There is a certain old-world stigma that New England holds. I appreciate it’s history and tradition, and miss it every now and then.. I will also always miss the Fall, but I’ve also never been a traditionalist. I’m always looking for something new. And whether it was me or my surroundings, there was never anything “new” happening. Just the same, societal-expected life cycles happening to different people.

“Normal” expectations are fine for most, but again, I’m unconventional. And my unconventional life is perfect. It’s only imperfect to traditionalists. It’s perfect for me because the only expectations I now have, are from myself. ❤ Honestly, I’m still learning to accept this part of me, (because, I mean, who doesn’t want to be part of the popular crowd, am I right?! lol) but thankfully I have been surrounded by those who support me and help me thrive in my little unconventional world. I have grown so much in these past 3 years; I’ve laughed, I’ve cried, and I’ve loved every giggle and every tear. My soul has been happy.

So here’s to year #3 and the beginning of #4! And to many, many, MANY! more years of New Beginnings 🙂

“The secret to a rich life is to have more beginnings than endings” – Dave Weinbaum

Cheers!

the bestest celebration is.. Life.

~ NewBeginnings ~ Leave a comment

(This has been sitting in my Drafts for SEVEN MONTHS – sorry! Finally posted! Thank goodness my ideas aren’t time-specific lol)

Birthday, Birthday, BIRTHDAYYY! 🙂

So for me, and a few of my friends, its Birthday Season – there are a handful of Birthdays from the end of January until about the second week in March.. then they sort of spread out from there.. either way, if you know anything about me, you’ll know that Birthday’s are my favorite days.

And I know why so many people don’t like them, I get it – another year older, another day closer to death.. blah, blah, blah.

I mean, why put a negative connotation on it? Because really, do you even understand what a Birthday is?! The day you were born. The end. Or if you wanna get technical:

birth . day /’berTH,dā/ noun – the day when someone was born or the anniversary of that day. The day when something began. (source – Merriam-Webster Dictionary, online)

See?! It’s just celebrating the day you were born! Or when you began! Not your age, or how many years it has been SINCE you were born.. Just a celebration of the day you were born. Or even, lets focus on the second part there: The day when something began.

Every year we celebrate a new beginning; A new day, a new year, new goals, new obstacles.. etc.

My best friend and I started a toast almost 3 years ago now.. It was during a transition period for both of us, coincidentally. (or was it?! #everythinghappensforareason 🙂 ) We went out for drinks and we always toast before the first sip. This one in particular we were digging in our brains to find things to toast to and not much was hitting home until one of said “To New Beginnings” That was it.

From that point on, we almost always toast to New Beginnings – why? well, because thats life. Every day is a New Beginning. A new start; A new job, a new car, a new workout, a new nail polish color.. whatever – it’s new! Something fresh. Just like Birthdays.

With all the tragedies in life, we need more celebrations. More New Beginnings. What’s that saying? “The secret to a rich life is to have more Beginnings than Endings.” -Dave Weinbaum

We all know life is short, and we can talk about that till we turn blue. The point is, every time a Birthday comes around, whether it’s me, you, or someone else, it is a Celebration of Life. It’s a New Beginning. So heres to making more of those count so we can really only have just one “ending”.

Cheers! To New Beginnings 🙂

bon anniversaire! (deux)

~ NewBeginnings ~ 2 Comments

whoaaa.. look at me go!

Play on words there people – because its not a birthday, it is an anniversary. But aren’t anniversaries just that? Birthdays.. for events?! hehe

Today marks one year saying yes to consciously hanging out on the reg with one of the most super-awesome people ever.. who has tested my patience from our very first conversation. Haha 😀 It’s true though. It’s been a hysterical year really, normal ups and downs.. and realizations. A year I thought I’d never see come full circle honestly.. but gosh darn it, am I blessed or what?! And boy has it been worth every second.

No matter where this relationship takes us.. to forever.. or just a “forever within the numbered days”.. 😉 Not only will it have been/be a pleasure to spend the time with this person, but also a privilege. Our friendship alone is better than most relationships.. (we are kind of amazing 😉 ) never mind the possibilities of tomorrow.

I have met a lot of great people in my day, but never have I met someone with such a beautiful soul, who is hysterically funny, with such GORGEOUS eyes.. (HAD to!) But really – even through some of the downs.. its a funny thing when you learn something from what you sometimes find as a fault. Like saying ‘sorry’. Mind.Blown.

I love this person, and I love how careful they are. How considerate, thoughtful, immensely smart, understanding, strong – in all ways, and focused they are. Most importantly, for me, patient – as you know, I’m kind of a handful, and somewhat.. crazy? haha 😉

So here’s to a tiny milestone in this thing we call life.. Here’s to more FUN runs, gin/vodka-waters, Whole Foods experiences, bad horror movie watching, emoji faces, and, of course, adventures! I can only pray I’m lucky enough to have even more of them.

To me, to you.. to US.. Cheers ❤