Category: Uncategorized

ignore-ance.

~ NewBeginnings ~ Leave a comment

..is what i like to call it.. because the ignorer has no idea how the ignoree feels.. and therefore, they are ignorant.

If you haven’t caught on from my one sentence rant, my biggest pet peeve.. next to not saying ‘bless you’ when someone sneezes..(I dont care what religion you are, make up another phrase if you have to) or ‘thank you’ when you hold a door open.. (you know, common courtesy?!) is being ignored. I mean, I dont know many people who really enjoy it.. and of course, like most of my posts, I too, am a perpetrator. I am a mean person who has also ignored people. Maybe this is karma..

This gets me to thinking though, about how I treat people, and what things I have done to be on someones ‘pet peeve’ list. The minute I finished writing the first sentence to this post I immediately felt terrible for the people I have ignored. I found myself on the other side. You start asking yourself questions.. Did they read it? Did they listen to my voice mail? With technology these days sometimes you know when they have, which leads you to more questions: Did I offend them? Do they not care? What is going on?! How much time is appropriate before I should even be asking myself these questions?

“Whoever said ‘What you don’t know can’t hurt you,’ was a complete and total moron. Because for most people I know, not knowing is the worst feeling in the world.” -Greys

The only problem is, although I care about being ignored, other people might not even care at all if I respond to them. That’s another mystery in life I guess.. Or maybe its not. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again.. ‘perception is reality.’ 5 people see a car accident, you get 5 different explanations. I think someone is ignoring me, they think they’re not, and vice versa. But even with our differences in perception, we should all be a little more considerate when people reach out to us, ask us questions, or offer information or assistance. When it comes to ignoring someone, I think there are simple, general guidelines that may help us to STOP IGNORING people. You all stop being jerks, and I will too.

– If someone asks you a question, answer it.

-If you’re not interested, say so. (didn’t I post about honesty recently?)

-If you feel bad because time has passed, don’t continue wasting time.. remember people ‘forgive’ but they don’t ‘forget’. You don’t even have to apologize, say something simple like.. ‘oops!’

-Be courteous. You never know when that person will magically pop back into your life. Damn that karma.

-Remember what it feels like to be on the other side. It sucks.

pros and cons.

~ NewBeginnings ~ 2 Comments

With all the changes I have experienced in the past month, as well as going deeper into single-dom.. I have found more interesting things about myself. Having nothing to do but think the past few weeks has made me understand what makes me interesting.. and here’s a short list of my findings.

Top 10 Reasons Why I’m AWESOME:

1. I am a realist. I like to present all sides and options of a situation because things CAN go terrible, but that CAN also go great! I, however, like to think of myself as more of an optimistic realist because, somehow, without even trying, I find good in everything and anything that happens. No matter how terrible the situation.

2. I am honest. I’m a terrible liar and I don’t see the point of not allowing yourself to express how you feel. Even if it doesn’t change a situation, honesty only creates more trust.

3. I am the  bestest  friend anyone can have. I value friendships because they are the only family I have. I am always there in need, even if I havent spoken to you in years.

4. I put others before myself. I naturally enjoy helping others. It could be something as important as work, or something as small as dinner. I know I will survive and can take care of myself  no matter the situation, so I let others go first.

5. I am independent. Just as I mentioned, I know how to survive and take care of myself. Aside from one instance, I have pretty much been able to figure shit out. Whether I had to couch hop and live out of my car, or not have cable/internet for years, I still paid my bills, did not go without food, and have always had a job.. and actually, a gym membership.. hmmm shows where my priorities are at. It’s ME who makes things happen.

6. Im a go-getter.I don’t wait for things to happen, or at least I don’t like to. I’m normally the one asking guys out, or making the first move. I don’t give up on job hunts and I always have a plan B, C, D, and however many other letters there are in the alphabet. I’ll take a set back, a road bump, I’ll even take being bad at something.. but I’ll at least do it. Because, “Even the biggest failure, even the worst most intractable mistake beats the hell out of never trying.” -Greys

7.  I’m half hippie. I’m a dreamer. Without dreams I would have no thoughts and no aspirations. I wouldn’t have known what I wanted to be when I grew up, or even what I want to be after I grow up. I believe in world peace and saving the planet. I believe everything that we call ‘life’ can change in a split second and therefore we should take nothing for granted.

8. I’m outgoing. I consider myself a good sort of crazy. I love experiencing new things and meeting new people. I’ll try anything at least once because “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone..” It’s the people in the world and the experiences you have that make life what it is.

9. I’m a hopeless romantic. I can make a personal rom com out of almost anything. I believe in love and everything it stands for. All-encompassing-butterfly-knots-stomach-churning-love. It’s that good kind of pain that makes you never want to let the other person go.. ever. And you’re happy.. forever.. because its a rom com. And I don’t care because I believe in all of it. I believe in someone finding me, and sweeping me off my feet. I believe in a good chase, a courtship, chivalry. As I mentioned, I usually make the first move because realistically, romance and chivalry are almost extinct. But that doesn’t mean I have to give up hope.

10. I’m hysterical. I love to laugh, even on the worst of days a good laugh makes it a little better. I am sarcastic in nature which creates the hysteria, and it makes for the best inside jokes. I can pretty much make anything funny if I think about it long enough. Heck, I’ve even made taking out trash a good time.

Top 10 Reasons Why I SUCK: 

1. I am a realist. I’m always able to see both or all sides of a situation. Sometimes, all that does is put me in the middle of arguments or leave people thinking I can’t make up my mind.

2. I am honest. Sometimes too honest and it comes across as being bitchy. I didn’t think it was possible, but apparently some people don’t like the truth. And guess what, I don’t care because who wants to live in a world full of lies?! (am I being too honest again? or is that bitchy?)

3. I am the  bestest  friend anyone can have. Sometimes so good of a friend that I get taken advantage of.. which happens, a lot. In turn, it makes me question the friends I have.

4. I put others before myself. Sometimes so much that I forget to take care of myself and I lose my priorities.

5. I am independent. Sometimes so much so that I push people away and end up alone.

6. Im a go-getter. Sometimes so ambitious that I come across as aggressive.

7. I’m half hippie. Not all dreams become reality, and it leads to others thinking I’m an airhead, stupid, live in a fantasy land, or have no goals.

8. I’m outgoing. Sometimes so outgoing that I intimidate people.

9. I’m a hopeless romantic. So much so that I don’t know if I can ever love again.. because “The castle, well it may not be a castle..” Rom-coms are great, but they are not necessarily realistic, so I just keep waiting.. I refuse to settle but I know how to compromise, and not everyone can see the difference.

10. I’m hysterical. Sometimes my sense of humor and natural light-ness come across as I don’t care or I don’t take things seriously enough. This judgment is untrue, I take many things seriously, I just do not see the point of making a situation somber that is serious.. because there IS a difference.

To think, this was my SHORT list.. Yes, I know I’m clever, but I’m also right. All amazing things about someone can also be their downfall, and vise versa. Perception is reality so we have to remember to humble ourselves occasionally (putting other before me) because we are different for a reason. I don’t want to like what you like, because its not necessarily what I like. And remember, we are not changing who we are, we are just looking to understand ourselves more (my hippie side) and the good in every situation. (my optimistic realism) 🙂

Go.

~ NewBeginnings ~ 5 Comments

I have at least 3 posts waiting to be finished.. I had so many ideas before I up and moved cross-country, and unfortunately it’s only been a few days.. so I haven’t found anything to call home yet where I can let my thoughts finish. I’ve barely found a Starbucks I like! But through the past few days, and even the days leading up to my departure from New England, I have been pulling at strings inside me only to try and cut some loose. Whether it be a failed test, a lost game, a relationship, a fight, or even moving, we have trouble accepting loss.. sometimes we think of it as failure.

The hardest thing in life is letting something go. Even through all the cliches of “everything happens for a reason”, we still take to heart moments that we should not hold on to. Maybe I should clarify.. it’s not that we should or shouldn’t hold on to these emotions, but many times we sit around and ‘wait’ for that second chance. We hope for someone to come back to us, or for karma to come ‘full circle’. We forget that letting go allows us to make a change or find something better, or makes us better. It allows us to learn. I, for example, have learned that sometimes there are no second chances. You can’t replay a game, and you can’t always re-take a test. And when it comes to relationships, we have to remember that yes, people come into our lives for a reason, but “God often removes people from your life for a reason, think before chasing after them.” -@coffee&cocktails. Do you know how many ex-boyfriends I thought were coming back?! Almost all of them. And how many did?  ___ this many.

Whether its friendships or partnerships, everyone has an expiration date in our lives. This sounds terrible I know, because some DO stand the test of time, but some are just longer than others, some are only for a day, some are only meant to bump into you on the subway and comment on the color of your shirt.. because that 3 seconds made your bad day better.. and some, only some, like library books, can be borrowed again when needed. One of my bestest friends was out of my life for about 4 years. We both never ‘chased’ each other, or fought to understand why we stopped speaking. What we both did, however, was let each other go. And its not that we banished each other from our lives, or were pompous jerks who snubbed each other, we just understood that there was a reason we stopped talking. We both learned a lot about ourselves, and not to sound super lame, but at the most perfect time, we found each other again. Even after so many years of being out of each others lives, one thing never changed, we still understood each other. We talked through the past.. and although it didn’t make sense 4 years ago, it all made sense now. This is one of few scenarios where that letting-someone-you-love-go-and-they-come-back-and-all-that-jazz.. rang true. The moment you let go of something or someone is the very moment everything makes sense. You become who you are again, and sometimes you realize that the something or someone you were stuck to, wasn’t even worth it at all. You are able to see everything from the outside. And sometimes, you even understand what it feels like to be on the other side. An example that this friend explained to me was.. “I was thinking, if I was just walking down the street and I didn’t know you at all, would I still want to talk to you or ask you for directions? As a stranger? Would you be someone I would want to talk to? ..And I answered YES.” After that conversation, I could name a few people that I would still want to talk to, but I also could name a few I wouldn’t want to talk to.. even as strangers.. and it made me realize again the glory of letting those people go.

“Sometimes you have to realize some people can stay in your heart, but not in your life.” -@iamprincekash

Because some people and some moments aren’t meant to be in your life forever. No matter how long they have been there already, we all know the past does not create the future. The past can’t ever change, but the future always will. So, of all the heartache, tears, and emotional turmoil.. all the scenarios I made in my head with ex-boyfriends.. (Ive been making rom com’s for years apparently!), all the old friends, and bad days at work.. If I had held on to every emotion.. every moment.. I would have never made a life for myself in New England. I would have never made the friends I have today. I would have been stuck in a terrible, emotionally damaging, relationship. I would still be crying driving on my way to work. I would still be fighting with friends who make bad decisions then question why bad things happen to them. With letting something go, even if its as small as a bad day, it allows you to see what is in front of you, and to show you that even the simplest of things, that are right in front of your face, can be amazing. It shows you the friends who stand by your side, the life you can create from the unknown, the crush who can turn into something more, and the endless possibilities of what fate has to offer.

We only only have one life. We only get one. Once chance. There are no second chances when it comes to life, so why would we ever assume that there are second chances IN life. YOLO all you want, but if you don’t stand by the idea, you weigh yourself down. Every day is a new beginning and with that should be finding something new to let go of. Think about what weighs you down, what lies heavy on your heart. Cut one more string. You’ll be able to breathe a little easier.

If I had stayed a miserable 13yr old who didn’t want to make friends, would I have ever become the crazy-confident-self-loving girl who thought moving back to CA would be a great idea?! Without cutting a few strings, I may have never taken a step forward. So here’s to you New England, as I pour out some champagne for you, know that I will never forget you.. and as days go on, I might pull another string off.. no worries though, because if I love some of you enough, you’ll come back right? Or does that mean I’ll go back..?

“Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back. Maybe you have to let go of who you were to become who you will be.” -S&TC

 

live your life.. love your job..

~ NewBeginnings ~ 2 Comments

This continues my adult-yearbook-will.. and this one is for you girls.

I honestly cannot believe this day is finally here. I never thought I’d see it come. The Aerie chapter of my life is finishing today.

To Natasha, Kristina, Hayley, Shannyn, and Leah.. the originals. To ‘talk with an accent day’. Or was it just talking like pirates? Or leprechauns? The candy drawer, and gossip in the stockroom. To dance parties and tank and undie sets.. and how everything was SUPER CUTE! when it came in. To Leah’s car that couldn’t drive fast because it was new.. what?! And Hayley and Kristina, who kept in touch and celebrated my 30th!! You ladies started the Aerie adventure, and I hope I end mine with swiping the undie table to the floor. ♥

To the ones who came and went, but that made an impact all the same.. Ill always remember how much Mish loved Ksoby and how amazing she was at bras.. And Tawn, Mish’s right-hand-man in the stockroom.. me and your dad were bffls.. we should play volleyball. Ames, I will never forget how great you were at swiffering, and how much you loved it when I told other managers how good you were at finger-spacing too 😉 Your family is my favorite and it makes me so happy that you are doing well. Malisa, you motivated my spiritual side and were always so kind-hearted. You made me want to be a better person. Andie, who said it best during one of the worst working years of my life “I think we all saved eachother a little bit today.” We did save each other.. and through it all we stood by each other. Kimberly, the BEST.MINOR.EVER. Even Nicole.. I told you this was going to be the best month of your life! We enjoyed it together 🙂

To the ones who stayed strong and survived through the best times and the worst, when we were failing, succeeding, or when me and Mish worked 14hr days with no breaks. We did it together, and we sure as hell had a great time.. especially at Chilis.. kind of 😉 We talked about baristas, boyfriends, stalkers, and creeps. We had cookie-cakes. There were life lessons being made. Al.. Ms “Hi, I’m Allie, Ive worked here since we opened..” Who never ceases to amaze me with stories, and gossip.. and whatever it was you did at camp.. thats probably where I get the gossiping from.. To proms, signs, graduations, KEN, Mrs Fields, and relationships.. I hope you learned to speak with your words, and how to become an MTV star. Dani G. you were the best at MAN DOWN!! procedures and there is nothing better than a conversation with you.. what the future holds, and wait, more relationship talk.. Naysh, I pretty much watched you grow up, and like Allie, I was your other mother.. hope Lisa doesn’t find your stash of drews.. Bri, the most fashionable one on staff.. and Moira who makes a blazer look good on anything. Landry, thank goodness for you, or Stef would go crazy.. shes going crazy now.. and thank you for working insane hours.. and asking for it? And duct tape.. we can never forget the duct tape. J’aimie, you’ve been there longer than all of us! Thank you for being my work confidante when things were frustrating or just changing on us.. and helping with all my Apple questions.. obvi. Peterman, I laugh just thinking about working with.you.every.shift especially all the closes and disney singing, and our candle-lit power outage.. and of course, all the relationship conversations.. are we seeing a trend here?! And making sure you didnt become a statistic. Julia.. Smokes. Hahaha best place ever, and I’m glad I wasn’t the only one who thought so. Thank you for telling me I’ve still got game.. hahaha. Cayt, thank you for loving trees 🙂 The saddest moment of my life will be when I start my new job and realize there is no one I can create a ROM COM with.. because no one has ideas as good as we come up with. Alanna.. my favorite artist.. the best relationship and life conversations come out of our closes.. I realized.. we ARE a rom com! Strange how much we have in common.. even all the amazing music from 2005! And, of course, Rivetts.. my human diary.. you know more about me than most people ever want to. We have our own personal book club discussions over Glee, New Girl, The Office.. and face rubbing. You’re my very own personal assistant. I would never have enough coffee in my day if it wasnt for you, and you pretty much kept me from going crazy. Thanks for quitting on me while I was on vacation, and thank you for being the.best.waitress.ever. Now get me a pancake.. and a coffee ♥

And now for the finale..

From the beginning, it has been quite an adventure. And there is one person who I shared it with all the way to today.. MISH! 🙂 My peer, my friend, my manager.. you and I both know that I do not know what I would have done without you these past 4 years. From teaching me how to close, to wedding planning and bridal showers. Bachelorettes and pole dancing.. Weddings and amateur parties, laughing, crying, complaining, and all the tequila I should have drank the year before you came back. All the advice I called you for and Twilight talks.. when I finally read/watched it! Cheesecakes and cookie-cakes.. meatball subs.. and doritos.. and coke.. and chips and dip! We are BOTH always eating! We ran this store from the start, and will run it together until 5:30p. I learned so much from you in regards to management, and even more through friendship.. because we all know what kind of friend I am.. waste.of.my.time! You always had more patience, even though most people never saw it. I love you and miss you already.. I will never work with someone who I can yell at without shame ever again.. Thank you for everything through the good and bad.. and all the undies in between ♥

You girls are the reasons why I stayed as long as I did.. most people would never deal with the crap I have gone through at this job, and many managers haven’t.. so I thank all of you for your support and for giving me a sense of sanity. I will miss the laughs, the stock room gossip, the undie tables, bra hangers, conference calls, schedule making, being mini mall-cops, and every moment I had with each of you. Now someone get me some gin and a new ROM COM story..♥

“We make more in life lessons at aerie than dollars..” Dani G.

The Champion Room..

~ NewBeginnings ~ 2 Comments

As I reminisce about my time here in New England I realize, as much excitement as I have in moving away, there are many things that are giving me a heavy heart. I’m sure this happens to many people, thinking about the time you have had, and rethinking your decisions. Now, I am not changing my mind, or even thinking about it.. but in weaker moments, I can definitely find a few things that could possibly bring me back to New England. Maybe a little more than a few, but nonetheless, here is a small list of my memories, loves, and what will be missed. This is my very own adult-senior-year yearbook will 🙂

First and foremost, missing out on Fall makes me cry a little on the inside. The leaves changing, the cool crisp air, apple picking, hoodies and leggings.. (I don’t know if you’ve heard, but in my closet, leggings are pants) It’s strange here in New England, life almost revolves around Fall. We prepare for it all summer, and once it’s here.. all we do is dread winter, and wait for summer again. The Fall has a strange way of making a new beginning. It has a lot to do with school schedules, but there is a strange notion of new things to come. Maybe it’s an idea of the leaves falling, which depicts some sort of ending, and we wait for the new to grow.. Whatever it is, I love it, and miss it already.

Sunrises. I probably don’t need to explain this one, but if you have not seen a sunrise in person, at the beach, you are missing out on one of the most calming, spiritual, and hopeful moments ever. I happen to be blessed as a morning person so I have seen many. What some people don’t realize, however, is living on the East Coast, we are all blessed in that we are able to watch the sun rise in its purest form. Nothing in the way. No trees, no mountains, no buildings.. just the sun. After seeing multiple sunrises, I can definitely say that it is the one simple things we take for granted. It is something we expect to happen without even knowing all its beauty. From a current New Englander who will soon no longer have the opportunity to watch a sunrise over the ocean,  it is one thing I would love to motivate all you other New Englanders to do. At least once in your life, just set your alarm, get up, and experience a sunrise. You can take a nap later.. and honestly, after a sunrise experience.. you wont even care about sleep, you’ll just want breakfast. I promise.

Friends. I grew up in CA and lived there for 13 years. I beat that here, and have lived in New England for 18 years. My first 6 years were very confusing and rather awkward. I did not have many friends.. many acquaintances, but few friends. This probably explains why I have worked hard at keeping the small few I still have. This also explains why I am a huge advocator of meeting new people and making new friends or connections. If you notice in all of my blogs, they discuss people and what people do. People are an important part to life, (obvi – I know you all are thinking it) but especially for someone like myself, personal connections mean the world. It’s the people in your life who help you find jobs, who hold your hair back when you drank too much, who make you laugh. It’s people who make you realize who you want to be and who you don’t. People also make you realize, that like most things, it’s quality, not quantity. I had a low moment right before Labor Day, and for the first time since my break-up I felt lonely. Loneliness for me, is the worst. I cried while driving, that’s the worst! For some reason I could not find solace in my independence and my ability to accept change as a good thing. In my efforts to kick this, I held the plans I had even though I was reconsidering, and although I did not expect to even enjoy myself, I ended up creating the beginning one of the best weeks I’ve had in a long time. I realized how important family actually was to me, or maybe it was just the sense of belonging.. I caught up with an old bestie, who even after a few years, could still share my dreams. I spent time with the people who mean the most to me. The friends I have made here may never compare to the new ones I will potentially make. It is difficult to explain in words how much these people mean to me. They are my family. They have been there through every mistake and bad decision. They have watched me cry.. hysterically.. and they have also made me laugh till my face hurt. Honestly, if I had to deal with myself, I wouldn’t be friends with me. That alone makes my friends better people than I am.

Because of my friends, I realized a lot of things in the past week. I realized how much I actually love this place of snow and changing leaves, and amazing sports teams.. I realized that New England has been my second home although many times I felt I was just visiting. And I realized that even though I may only have a month left.. (OMG a MONTH) I will not stop making memories. I will only make more. I will absorb every inside joke, rekindle every flame, light new ones, and make even more inside jokes. (and for those reading who understand, I don’t care what you say, my mind said champagne room, and my mouth clearly had too much wine in it!!)

I will take every day as it comes, because I learned this past weekend that I could pull out of the driveway, and BAM. And really, as we know, if you wanna make God laugh, tell him your plans. So I no longer have any. I will head west with my dreams, and take everyday as it is meant for me. Meredith said it best in Greys Anatomy:

“We’ve all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to ‘seize the day’. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today’s possibility under tomorrow’s rug until we can’t anymore, until we finally understand for ourselves like Benjamin Franklin meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping. And that even the biggest failure, even the worst most intractable mistake beats the hell out of never trying.”

So I will try, and see what happens. And no matter what, after realizing what I have, no matter how small it may feel, I will always have about 5 things to come back to New England to 🙂 No matter how long I stay in CA, even if it becomes ‘forever’ I realize now, I will always have two places to call home.

Just like heading off to college, I will make new memories, have new experiences, and probably create new dreams. Although, I do hope I don’t make nearly as many bad decisions as I did in college.. I will get home sick, I will hope my mom sends me care packages, and I will always be Celtics fan 🙂 I love you New England and I thank you for the changing of the seasons, the sunrises, and all the amazing people you gave me. Here’s to new adventures!

“After all, things change, so do cities, people come into your life and they go. But it’s comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart… and if you’re very lucky, a plane ride away” -Carrie – Sex & the City

theatre: to be or not to be.. awkward.

~ NewBeginnings ~ Leave a comment

In the almost 4 years that I have been a manager in an intimate apparel store, I have never come across the conversation I’m about to tell you about.

A lovely young lady comes in and finds me fixing the lace undies. I say hello, and she responds. She proceeds to explain to me that she is a theatre major, which probably explains what happens next; because theatre people, or artists-in-human-form, as I like to call them, tend to be a little dramatic. She explains that in theatre she wears stretchy yoga-pant-style pants while rehearsing. Seems to be a normal enough conversation until, without even a blink of an eye, or an extra breath, she adds in her issues with these pants and her period. You heard me, her period. I.e. menstrual cycle, Aunt Flo, the Red App, whatever you call it, apparently it’s normal to have this conversation with strangers in front of lace undies. To make matters worse, because I was thinking, “ok, whatever, I mean all girls have period issues, so what if she has an un-realistic sense of awesomeness to think strangers care” ..she proceeds to explain these issues to me in regards to thong wearing (which OBVI doesn’t work when you’re on your period) comfort levels (no wedgies or bunching please) and thick-ness (need to be thin enough for said pants) of desired undies. Seriously!? I’m a retail manager, not a hair dresser! There are hundreds of people who walk in my store every day this time of year, and this is no place to be having a personal (or so I thought it was personal!) conversation. Lucky for me, I was able to find her exactly what she was looking for. Unfortunately for her, she chose lace undies. For someone with period problems.. you’d think the cotton option would be best.

There is no moral to this story, I just had to share it because it was awkward. I lied. Moral of the story, keep your period problems to yourself. Gross.

the new tswift: blogger-style.

~ NewBeginnings ~ 1 Comment

So Taylor Swift came out with an awesome new single this past week.. which honestly I hated when I first heard it, but it then grew on me, and now it’s on repeat ALL the time. One small controversy that came out with this new single, other than the fact that its 100% pop which upsets me, is the question of “WHO IS THE SONG ABOUT?!”

If you read any kind of periodical, or watch any portion of the news, you know that historically, Ms. Tswift sings about guys she has dated, loved, crushed, and so on.. So of course, once a new song comes out, no one cares about the catchy hook, or the lyrical melodies. The only thought running through peoples minds.. their sad, sad, minds, is “Who is the damn song about?!” Speculation is all over the radio, and even making headlines on magazines. Well, I say to you.. Who freakin cares?!

First of all, Tswift is winning here, because no matter who everyone thinks she’s singing about, she is the only one who knows. Even if she states it publicly, she is still winning because she can lie about it people! It might even be about a friends situation! Ever think of that!? Artists have one goal. To tell a story. So whether it is about family, friends, or your weekend at the beach, its all about the story. Not the people. I read in a book, that was written for writers, a piece of advice: (not verbatim) “Do not be concerned with the family or people involved in a story, its only about the story that you wanted to write.” The only people that matter, are those involved.. if they even know who they are.

I say that because, apparently I have become the new Tswift: blogger-style. I write about my life, about peoples lives, and everyday happenings. Recently I posted about my most recent break-up and a small portion of the aftermath. And although in much of the post, it relates to my most current relationship, a lot of the post was also about other issues I have had in previous relationships because it all tied-in so nicely. What is also interesting about it, is that not everyone who read it assumed my boyfriend and I had broken up. Either way, why do I need to explain that to people? All forms of  artistry whether it be art, writing, theatre, or song, is all left to ones perception or interpretation. So no matter what is presented, it will be viewed differently based on the eyes that see it. Or ears that hear it!

And anyway, even if I didn’t write about you, or Tswift didn’t sing about you, we still talked about you behind your back! So wouldn’t you rather a story be told eloquently, well written, or with a melody.. vs angry talk with out you knowing? Lastly, for those who still think they are the sole piece of attention in anyones writing, song, or painting.. I’ll let Carly Simon sing it to you:

“You’re so vain, you probably think this song is about you..
You’re so vain, I’ll bet you think this song is about you. Don’t you?”  -Carly Simon

PSA

~ NewBeginnings ~ 1 Comment

reason #3895 why having a blog is great:

You can vent about anything to the general public knowing only a handful of people know what you are talking about, then receive unsolicited constructive criticism, advice, and sometimes even appreciation for discussing everyday angst.

And now I present to you, my vent of the week:

First and foremost, I would like to apologize because I feel it was because of my ignorance that this had to happen to me, however, in situations that are similar, I do not do this type of behavior because I feel I’m socially aware of people’s personal space.

What I did wrong was update my relationship status on facebook. As normal as this sounds, I actually did NOT want it to be public so I deleted it off my feed on my personal page. Unfortunately, I did not realize that in doing so, it does not delete it off the regular news feed as well. As much as I love my facebook community, old and new friends.. I have my own group of close friends who I talk to everyday.. you know, like most people.

So, in a public service-style announcement, I would like to say.. the answer is.. NO. No, I don’t need anyone to talk to because I have friends who I have talked to already. No, I don’t want to hang out. No, I don’t want to explain anything to anyone because frankly, it’s none of anyone business unless I say it is. No, I don’t need all this random attention just because I’m single. I’m single NOT lonely, or depressed, or incapable of living everyday life. No, I don’t need help. So enough with all the messages and allow me to be the celebrity who enjoys their privacy.

And, if you are really concerned, the only attention I would like at this time is one from a knight in shining armor, approx 6″1′, preferably with a swimmer-esque build, no chest hair, and in his mid-late 20s. (we all know how much of a cougar I am). I also don’t like horses, so if you can be a sort of Chris Hemsworth-style knight who just runs around mostly, and can let the horse be, that would be awesome. A wine offering would also be accepted, again, only if you are what is described above. That’s it. I hope this helps.

Thank you for your time.

just an update.

~ NewBeginnings ~ 4 Comments

So, it’s been a week. An emotional, exciting, entertaining week.

And during this week, I have realized I have become socially awkward. What happened to me?! Is that what being single does? I can barely talk to people at work without having to think about every word that comes out of my mouth. I flush at the most random times, and I apparently have difficulty holding down regular conversations.

I have said this time and again, but it IS such a strange feeling being single. It’s almost stressful! I love it though. Everything feels fresh, like I’ve never done it before. Maybe that explains my new found awesome ability to have terrible conversations.

Either way, it’s been a fun week, and I’m planning for the biggest exciting moment of my life. I’ve been talking about this since I was 13 and now it’s a done deal. IM MOVING BACK TO CALIFORNIA!!

The excitement has already started, and all I need left is an awesome going away, or more so, a coming home party 🙂