Category: life

The prodigal blogger

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Dear internet friends and fellow readers.. for those who still read..

I am back! sort of – it’s strange really, one day my brain just started flooding with ideas to write about – Everyday issues in an array of topics.. It’s like the past 7 mo I was having writers block and I cleaned out my ears to let some light into my brain.

Hopefully those who I enjoyed blogging with are still out there in interweb-verse. I feel behind in my reading too.. Not sure why it is now, though, that I was slapped with this emotion, idea, wonderment, and an urge to type again.. but I’ll take it.

Even this sad min intro-post – it’s terrible really lol, but I had to reach out and prepare you for what is to come.

Will it all be interesting, fulfilling, even well-written? Probably not – lol – but I do hope to get conversation out there again with everyday challenges and my perspective on this life’s journey of making every day better for us all.

Hope you all have been well, I’m looking forward to a few new posts soon and get these blog posts rollin’.

till next time,

cheers!

 

 

deja vu.. like 100 times

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Well hello there!

Here we are again.. yup, you guessed it! Birthday MONTH! 🙂

I always seem to resurface this time of year.. if not now, usually around the New Year.. then make my way back right around February.. aka – Birthday time. I know its a little repetitive, and probably somewhat annoying, but no matter how often I blog about life, Birthdays (yup the word should always be capitalized), and being grateful for both, I’m constantly finding myself having this conversation with people who have already heard it and have, say, “forgotten”.

Biggest pet-peeve (after liars): People who say they “hate” their Birthdays or “don’t like them”.

Ok fine. And not to sound harsh here, but hey, there’s always the alternative (cliche much?). But seriously, if that’s what you would have preferred the past year, or years even, is to die vs being graced with another year of wisdom, age, and knowledge – then well then I’m just a jerk for making you see any gratitude in having a day of birth at all.

And what I seem to find is, most people who “don’t like” their Birthdays, are normally the ones who aren’t living their lives to their potential, or expectation – and see growing “older” as just another day closer to having aching bones and wheelchairs.

You see this is where I want to slap all of these people.. with words of course. Hehe.

Because age means nothing.. that number you are so focused on? It just describes how long you have been blessed on this planet. It does not define who you are, and what you can or cannot do. It does not define your dreams and aspirations. There are 80yr olds running marathons.. and 21yr olds killing themselves on prescription drugs. I know those are extremes.. but really where would you prefer to land? Somewhere in the middle I’m sure.. but I’ll tell you what.. I’d love to be that 80yr running just a 5K! My point is, aside from major issues that physically and mentally deprive a person, i.e. dementia, certain stages of cancer, losing a limb (which even still doesn’t hold some people back!) the only thing that creates an “old age” mentality is yourself. You choose whether or not you want to join a book club, focus on your career goals, life goals, join a running club, yoga class, jump out of airplanes.. whatever. YOU make YOURSELF OLD, not the number of years you’ve been alive.

Seriously.

And to be clear, I’m not making anyone enjoy or celebrate their Birthday as much as I do. I’m just trying to explain that by saying you don’t “like” the day you were born – shows not only a choice of non-motivation to age gracefully, but also a level of ungratefulness. And some of you out there may be saying.. “Now hooold on a minute.. I didn’t SAY I was ungrateful!” Oh you didn’t? Well let’s just look at this logically here.. I can understand how we can sometimes be grateful for things we “don’t like” like say – coffee, or my bed, or friends, and being alive. Oh wait I LIKE ALL THOSE THINGS.

Ok so then.. I’m not grateful for liars, or traffic, or death. Oh wait.. I DON’T like all those things! Point is, it’s difficult to be grateful and not like something that you’re grateful for. Ok, so maybe sometimes I’m grateful for traffic because I was able to finish a really good song on the radio, or it kept me from a car accident.. I don’t really “like” the traffic per say, but I like what it has given me and am grateful for the song, or the non-accident.

So looking at this in a broader, still logical sense – to be grateful for life doesn’t mean you have to “like” Birthday’s – but yet the whole purpose of the Birthday was to GIVE you life. Just like the whole “purpose” of that traffic (if you believe in the Universe or God) was to keep you safe from an accident and let you listen to something that makes you happy. So in essence you sort of “didn’t mind” that traffic because, in this simple instance,  your song was playing.

That’s where we need to be people – have a sense of “I don’t mind my Birthday, because I am grateful to have made it another year” vs “I hate” or ” I don’t like”. Because if you value Life at all – it only makes sense to value how you got here in the first place.

Another pet-peeve: When people use death as a “reminder” to be grateful for life.

I know this sounds a little harsh again, but shouldn’t LIFE be your reminder every day that you are alive?! Why must we wait until we lose something to be grateful? Why are so many of us incapable to find magic, and value, and gratefulness in our everyday lives? How about changing that perspective, especially on a bad day, to “Today royally sucked, but I am grateful I at least woke up this morning, and was able to tell ____ I love them. Or even “Ugh I’m sick today, but I’m grateful for sick-days because at least I don’t have to work today and can catch up on my Netflix shows”. Or more so, I’ve been having health issues but I am grateful I have a great Dr. and a great support system (friends/family) to help me in recovery or to battle this”. See what I did there?! Turned obvious life issues into something we can be grateful for.

And I understand tragedy exists and evil. I am a realist – an optimistic realist to be exact. I know and understand, and even sometimes expect bad or the negative side of things to happen. However, I keep faith and hope that the “good” side prevails. Does that always happen? Of course not – but it definitely provides a more positive way to look at any situation.

Find reminders everyday to be grateful for LIFE. Then hopefully, If/when a bad thing happens, or you experience loss, it’s not that you didn’t know it was coming.. but you have learned to grieve and move on – in essence, understanding the loss and being sad (because we are still human), but being grateful that you were able to enjoy the time you had vs feeling like every good moment has been taken away. Because you can’t “take away” moments, you know, they are always with you <3.

 

So here’s to another amazing Birthday Season where I look back, pause, and then look  forward. To see where I have been, where I am, and where I aspire to go. Never to hang out too long in any of those ideas though, because as we know, time is of the essence and we never know when tomorrow is our last tomorrow. Celebrate what’s in front of you, and celebrate LIFE.

 

Cheers!

 

 

lets regroup – (another inexplicable draft)

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Can I just say.. LOL to this?!

Because once again, I’ve slacked on my writing (UGH) and come back to interesting drafts waiting for me.. Not quite sure where this was headed honestly – but I thought I might as well share it since it was in my brain once. Also, in retrospect, my 3 years here in SoCal was lovely.. the LOL idea, however, is that from when this draft started to where I am now.. more “BOOM”s happened.. and not so positive ones at that. But it’s always good to know, remember, and share the silver linings when they come.. I just wished I had finished this back in September.. nonetheless, this is where I was 4/5 months ago 🙂

 

 

<<draft_begins>>

Funny, when I first moved to SoCal, (3 years ago coming up this October.. crazy!) time seemed to move at a “normal” pace. But the minute I met some people and got a job, it’s like I can’t blink fast enough and BOOM 3 years are here. And even more of a BOOM.. this past year. Whoa I say! Simma down.. lol

Anyway, I don’t even know where to start.. work has pretty much caught fire in my life and it’s been pretty good.. not too many complaints.. today was not one of those days though, and it reminded me how much I missed this outlet. I really wished reading and writing could pay my bills, but it doesn’t and because of that, I lose a little of myself for months. Getting caught up in day-to-days.. in what’s expected of me (work-wise.. I mean we all know life-wise I do nothing of what is “expected” of me HA! And well, because that’s silly to expect things in Life.. but that’s a whole other blog post). But I digress, so continuing on.. let’s see.. the past 5 months..

Aside from work, my personal life has been pretty.. I don’t know, stagnant? I don’t like using that word.. but I’m not quite sure how else to explain. I mean I’ve been happy.. it’s weird even, because there have definitely been some changes.. But there just haven’t been rollercoasters.. just a few uphill jogs.. Nothing crazy, and well, it’s been nice.

 

fake rant.

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Haven’t posted a random rant in a while..

With my current state of instability, (I know my recent 3-yr anniversary post was uplifting, but I’ve actually been going through some emotional distress the past few weeks..) my patience has gone from 12689124325 to 0 in 2.3 seconds.

And in light of work not making life easier, I was reminded today at how damn fake people can be.

Never mind the random strangers of whom we run into on a daily basis in the coffee shop, at the bar, walking into your workplace.. etc.. there are the also the people you are required to see on a daily basis, and interact with.. more than you’re own damn family.. you guessed it. Your co-workers.

These people of whom that are supposed to be one of two things: Supportive peers who cheer you on when you do well.. and Open-armed min-friends who lift you up when things are a little down. In simple terms: Supporters and Teammates. Some select few even become good friends, and others, practically family. Most of the time though, it’s like playing a sport: get to the game work together and WIN! Then go home feeling accomplished.. hopefully. What is one of the main reasons people leave a certain job? more times than not – the people. Why do many people stay in jobs they don’t really like? (I was victim of this for 4 years before I moved to SoCal) you guessed it. The People. When there is respect, teamwork, and appreciation in the workplace, people tend to become more loyal than if it were the opposite.

Moving on however.. co-workers on the other hand, should NOT be: (although theres always a handful) fake.

And I know I’m talking co-workers here, but really this goes out to everyone.. all of you need to quit it too.

I get being courteous, and polite. But c’mon when you don’t speak to me on the reg as it is, and because I may be potentially showing my weaknesses today.. don’t be pretending you care today by saying things like: “Have a good night”.

Now, many of you will throw down the crazy card here, but hear me out.

I am so sick and tired of people who don’t actually care about your well being to say meaningless crap like this.

You know what would have been more appropriate? “Goodnight”, or even, “I’ll see you tomorrow”. Why you ask? Well because for honesty sake, these are true statements. Facts. Just like “Hello” and “Goodbye”, “Goodnight” is just a general greeting. And “I’ll see you tomorrow” (aside from all those “tomorrow is never a promise” vibes) there’s pretty much a 99.9% chance I will, in fact, see you tomorrow. When you don’t actually care about how my night will be – you’re just pulling meaningless small talk. And all that does is create awkwardness and a false sense of care. Because if you cared how my night would be, you would have asked how my day was first.

Keep it real people! I have to see you, EIGHT HOURS A FREAKIN DAY. No need for small talk. We get that enough from strangers. And YOU PEOPLE (yah I said it) are co-workers – people we are supposed to respect and work together towards a common goal with. In all my experience of playing competitive sports, teamwork does not succeed when people are fake and lie to teammates. This just creates conflict and trust issues.

Me, of all people am pretty real when it comes to life. Most people can’t handle it and thats fine. No one likes honesty. Sadly, this is a truth in our society. But if you know me at all, work with me, am friends with me, whatever.. you should know by now that I put effort where effort is due with people. If I don’t want to talk to you, I won’t – and I’ll even tell you why if you ask me.

If I’m making efforts – you got it, I care. And again, lets be clear – I’m not an asshole in the office or to the general public. I am polite, courteous, and professional. Sometimes a little sassy, but I mean, you’ve got to be when you are a female in a male-dominated industry. But back to my point, we all play favorites (stop denying it) so those I like more than others, yes, of course I make additional efforts to have lunch with you, and GENUINELY (big word here people) care about how your day is.

And I mean, there are plenty of people I work with that are just “Hello”, “Goodbye” people, we don’t mind, it doesn’t offend us! We still show up every day and do our job.

So to round this up, if you don’t care, shut your hole. If you want to care be GENUINE (AH! theres that word again!) and make an effort on a daily basis, not just when it looks like I want to punch you, or cry for that matter. (I told you, I’m a little vulnerable right now).

rant.over.

10/11/12

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I never even realized the date of my departure until this year.. I can’t remember who even mentioned it, but it was just a casual conversation of:

Me: “Yah, my 3 year anniversary is coming up this weekend! October 11th – I’ll never forget it.” 

Person who I don’t remember: “10/11/12 huh? Ha!”

I can’t believe I never noticed.. I wasn’t even trying to be ironic! Haha, but what I found so amazing about it, is that not only will 10/11/12 never happen again in our lifetime, but my fateful cross-country move – will also never happen again.

And by “happen again”, I mean, yah I might have another big move or something else as life-changing occur, but this move not only changed my life, it also created more than a new one.

When I think about that day.. omg. The crying. It was ridiculous. Like reeeaallyyy RIDICULOUS. I kept re-thinking the whole thing.. I was leaving a 5-year relationship, a 4-year job – this was the most stable my life had ever been.. It was comfortable. I kept yelling at myself: “I only have 3k in my pocket! I have no job, no where to live.. I’m 31 years old dammit.. WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?!?!”

But then 10pm PST came.. my flight had landed an hour late.. my cousin thought my plane had either crashed or I lied and ran back to Boston. Talk about an anxiety-filled first night! When I walked onto that tarmac at LGB it had been raining. It was warm, and I still remember the smell of the rain mixed with palm trees. It was like I was on vacation.

I wanted to kiss the wet ground, I was so happy. Every sad emotion was gone. I was now nervous.. Hopeful.. Excited.. Nervous.. Determined.. And did I mention, Nervous? Haha, but it was a great feeling.

Life hadn’t felt this promising since the first day of college. Except I now had more self-esteem, confidence, courage, sass, wisdom, and hopefulness. I had wanted this since I was 13. It was finally happening. I couldn’t decide where to start.

In one month I found a job, an apartment, and a best friend.

I never looked back.

Every new day that has passed, brought more new beginnings and new adventures. And boy, it’s been one heck of an adventure so far. Everyday is different, everyday is new. I never felt like that back east. There is a certain old-world stigma that New England holds. I appreciate it’s history and tradition, and miss it every now and then.. I will also always miss the Fall, but I’ve also never been a traditionalist. I’m always looking for something new. And whether it was me or my surroundings, there was never anything “new” happening. Just the same, societal-expected life cycles happening to different people.

“Normal” expectations are fine for most, but again, I’m unconventional. And my unconventional life is perfect. It’s only imperfect to traditionalists. It’s perfect for me because the only expectations I now have, are from myself. ❤ Honestly, I’m still learning to accept this part of me, (because, I mean, who doesn’t want to be part of the popular crowd, am I right?! lol) but thankfully I have been surrounded by those who support me and help me thrive in my little unconventional world. I have grown so much in these past 3 years; I’ve laughed, I’ve cried, and I’ve loved every giggle and every tear. My soul has been happy.

So here’s to year #3 and the beginning of #4! And to many, many, MANY! more years of New Beginnings 🙂

“The secret to a rich life is to have more beginnings than endings” – Dave Weinbaum

Cheers!

the bestest celebration is.. Life.

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(This has been sitting in my Drafts for SEVEN MONTHS – sorry! Finally posted! Thank goodness my ideas aren’t time-specific lol)

Birthday, Birthday, BIRTHDAYYY! 🙂

So for me, and a few of my friends, its Birthday Season – there are a handful of Birthdays from the end of January until about the second week in March.. then they sort of spread out from there.. either way, if you know anything about me, you’ll know that Birthday’s are my favorite days.

And I know why so many people don’t like them, I get it – another year older, another day closer to death.. blah, blah, blah.

I mean, why put a negative connotation on it? Because really, do you even understand what a Birthday is?! The day you were born. The end. Or if you wanna get technical:

birth . day /’berTH,dā/ noun – the day when someone was born or the anniversary of that day. The day when something began. (source – Merriam-Webster Dictionary, online)

See?! It’s just celebrating the day you were born! Or when you began! Not your age, or how many years it has been SINCE you were born.. Just a celebration of the day you were born. Or even, lets focus on the second part there: The day when something began.

Every year we celebrate a new beginning; A new day, a new year, new goals, new obstacles.. etc.

My best friend and I started a toast almost 3 years ago now.. It was during a transition period for both of us, coincidentally. (or was it?! #everythinghappensforareason 🙂 ) We went out for drinks and we always toast before the first sip. This one in particular we were digging in our brains to find things to toast to and not much was hitting home until one of said “To New Beginnings” That was it.

From that point on, we almost always toast to New Beginnings – why? well, because thats life. Every day is a New Beginning. A new start; A new job, a new car, a new workout, a new nail polish color.. whatever – it’s new! Something fresh. Just like Birthdays.

With all the tragedies in life, we need more celebrations. More New Beginnings. What’s that saying? “The secret to a rich life is to have more Beginnings than Endings.” -Dave Weinbaum

We all know life is short, and we can talk about that till we turn blue. The point is, every time a Birthday comes around, whether it’s me, you, or someone else, it is a Celebration of Life. It’s a New Beginning. So heres to making more of those count so we can really only have just one “ending”.

Cheers! To New Beginnings 🙂

it’s not what it sounds like..

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It’s come to a point of exhaustion.

Where I can’t distinguish what emotions belong where anymore.

No need for explanation, I’m sure there are plenty who have been there.

oops.. part II

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Ok so where we left of last.. (if anyone is still reading.. haha) my poor coaster car was broken down and pissing me off. Haha that deserves an lol – did I do that right?!

Anyway, as mentioned, I’m writing again, thankfully in a better place and my coaster car is at least going to get worked on. There is someone I love who lives a life with the idea of “Nice guys/girls might finish last, but they still finish..” and “A corvette may beat a prius at first, but eventually, the prius will catch up.” The old tortoise and hare.. I think you get the idea.. This person believes in a slow and steady process in life.. and recently, this has come to fruition.

I have realized, even with my life-answer-demanding personality, that even those answers sometimes come slow.. If you are a spiritual or religious type, as I am, you see this as well. Prayers, and answers from God, or the Universe, or both even.. None of that is instant, you have to wait. Patience is a virtue, is it not? How many times have I discussed that? Or even just mention that? I’d be rich if I counted.. Funny though, even with knowing that, it’s very difficult to bring to reality.

And now, what I’m going to hate to write is – that this slow and steady life process doesn’t necessarily get you what you WANT in life.. It just gets you the answers to get you to where you, I guess ‘need’ to go? Or should go, or well, just the answer I guess.. we all make the decisions for ourselves based on answers. I mentioned this in my last post, the idea of, ‘I don’t care what the answer is, I just want to know so I can make a decision and do something.‘

So I guess my point in all this is, I’m in a better place thankfully.. I can see the workers coming towards my car to fix it, or at least tell me if it’s broken for good, and to get off and start walking.. A good friend wrote to me “It’s hard and a struggle, but faith and patience will take you there.” Faith and Patience. Faith and Patience. Pretty much – wait and believe. Because even in that tortoise and hare story – slow and steady.. the underdog still finishes.. ’till next time,

Cheers!

oops..

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‘ello readers!

I thought I’d drop a note, since I realized I haven’t written since my long-ass Thanksgiving post! I usually do some sort of New Year’s one too.. but what I also started up again was writing in my journal. Which, to be honest, has been like therapy.

You see, this happens to all of us every once in a while in the roller coaster of life.. and I have once again found myself on a broken coaster car, just sitting there, waiting for the ride to be fixed! Gah! I mean, strangely enough, like all other times when I feel miserable, I seem to be in my most hopeful moment as well. Maybe that’s a given.. because I mean, shouldn’t we be more hopeful during down times? Not more miserable? Anyway.. my problem is, that most of these broken car moments usually involve feelings. I never get ‘broken down’ from work, or daily life.. it’s always when it affects my heart.

When I get hurt, I just want to know “why”. The number one thing I struggle with in times like this is finding answers. It’s like, I don’t care that I’m on a broken coaster car, just tell me why.. One thing I have been working on diligently in the past 2 years has been patience.. I met someone who helped tremendously with that, and so now I realize, that so long as I have some sort of honest answer/explanation to this misery, I’m fine. I’ll sit and wait.. or I’ll just get out of the broken car and start walking up the tracks myself.

Anyone out there wanna tell my why it’s so hard to tell the truth, or give honest answers? And I’m not just talking ‘intimate’ relationships here, I’m talking all relationships, all of them. Because what we don’t realize is that this sort of thing is worse in friendships! We keep thinking that we are helping the situation.. I’m no different.. there are friends who I don’t really consider friends anymore, who will reach out to me.. and I just blatantly ignore them. Sometimes I don’t mean to.. and I just forget about them.. but that’s no better! Why can’t I just say, “Thanks, but I don’t care.” Or “Hey, I’m at Target, and yes, that is more important than you right now.” < I know those are semi-random, but you get the idea.

Then again, (I just did one of those ‘AH’ laughs) the reason why I can count my friends on one hand is because I have been that person who did answer like I mentioned above, and well.. people can’t handle the truth either I guess. I literally have lost many a friend due to my lack of, not care per se, but lack of eloquent explanations. Honestly, though, why would you NOT want the truth? How many times have people complained and cried about – “It’s worse to live a lie than be hurt by the truth.” Well then act like it people! Ugh..

So I guess this mini vent is about truth and honesty.. just give it to me straight. Provide me with the information.. I become knowledgable, and I make my own decisions. Simple as that. When you keep information from people, you are making the decision(s) for them. Someone tells me the power went out, so it will take about 5 min for my broken car to start up again? Cool, I’ll wait. You tell me a bolt blew off and my car is missing a wheel? Got it, I’m out, I’m walking, because this car needs to get repaired without me in it. But if you just tell me the car is broken.. without explanation.. I’ll be pissed waiting an hour, when I could’ve started walking..

Anyway, till next time, when hopefully my coaster car is at least in the shop, 😉 and I have better things to write about..

Cheers!

its that time.. that should be happening ALL the time..

~ NewBeginnings ~ 2 Comments

Come November of every year.. everyone and their second cousin (all of a sudden!) starts to become ‘thankful’.. Posting things on social sites of thankfulness throughout the holidays (what happened to the rest of the year!?).. And knowing theres not much I can do to stop this, I guess I’ll just embrace it, knowing that hey, if people can only bring it upon themselves to be thankful and hopeful just two months out of the year, then I guess thats better than no months at all. So go ahead world! – start over-posting and filling my pages with your ‘thanks’ for two months – then come January (or Black Friday for that matter) go back to being ‘normal’.

Aside from my normal crap I blog and post about (being thankful and blessed constantly, appreciative of love – which I know most people are bored of all year long.. until, well, now – because I guess this is normal protocol just for the holidays) I do feel an overwhelming sense of extra thanks and love. And well, maybe thats why most people hold off till the holidays to express this as well (although I’m not saying it’s ok, because, as mentioned, we all really should be ‘bored’ with this thankful ‘crap’ all year long).

 

Anyway, I digress – the point of this post is to sort of play catch-up. Like I mentioned, I too, get extra sentimental this time of year, and I wanted to participate in what some people are doing this month – A ‘gratitude’ or ‘thankful’ challenge the month of November for 30 days. Since I’m so behind, I decided I can wrap this up in one – LONG – blog post and list 30 things I am thankful for this year. Keep in mind, this is/was hard for me considering I’m thankful daily (I know, I know – barf), so to narrow down my top 30 is like trying to pick 30 of my favorite birthdays! #impossible Haha, but I’m gonna try.

And to be honest, I literally updated this list like 5 times 🙂

 

In no particular order – This past year, I am thankful for:

1. waking up every single day: Given the fact that tomorrow is never a promise, I am thankful that God continues to give me more time on this crazy planet – everyday has definitely been an adventure.

2. learning to love someone: Although I am in a sad situation of loving someone who may never love me back, it’s amazing to learn how real love can actually calm you. Just knowing someone is healthy, happy, and doing well, is like a good drug – say, like coffee! 😉 And you learn to understand that it doesn’t matter how you fit into their lives, so long as you are able to continue to be a good part of it.

3. love: Yes, this is separate – because love alone transcends across many parts of our lives. Love of friends, love of co-workers, love of self, love of coffee, love of owls.. I can go on.. but you know what I mean. Just knowing love exists in some form, is grand.

4. Jeffrey Scales: Enough with the shocked faces people. Jeffrey is an amazing person. Amazing. Those who know him, probably know this already. After all this time, he is still annoyed with my unconventional way of thinking/life, and is still able to make a joke out of anything. On top of that, he genuinely asks how me and my crazy family are. That’s what I am most thankful for – he’s genuine. It’s not easy finding people who are real. And although most of our communication now is through work means, it’s a blessing to still be able to keep in touch and know we are still friends on some level. Thank you, for being you, Jeffrey.

5. new england: I know I ran away from you off to the land of hippies and lengthy coastlines, but the thanks I have for your seasons, food, patriotism, sports, holiday embrace, and traditions, can’t be expressed into words. I just cry about it now haha 😉 This would’ve been #1 if I had to rank it. I do love the move I made, but the things I have listed you can’t find anywhere else.. It’s what I miss most (second to my peeps obvi!)

6. work: The past year of work has been.. tumultuous to say the least. I am not doing what I love, but I sure have learned a lot and put myself through a lot of tests – literally and figuratively – I am grateful though, for the people I have met, the paychecks, and the experiences that have provided me a new perspective on what I want for myself, career-wise. Overall, it has been a huge learning experience.

7. food: As a self-proclaimed foodie, I am so thankful for all the new food experiences I have had. Gem deserves a HUGE thankful part of that, and so does James – more so for my everyday eating habits. I learned how to actually prepare food for work, and learned a lot about how to manage what my body needs. It’s still a learning process daily, but I am just so thankful I know how to eat such great stuff.. and know the difference #foodsnob 😉

8. owls: Ok, I mean, here’s another that probably needs no explanation. I freakin love owls! They are a little treasure of my life and I’m thankful there are so many awesome things that can come in owl-form.

9: God: 9 is a Holy number, so I gave it to God. 🙂 I know theres a lot of God-talk (or more so, non-God-talk) out there, and if you read the book, Eat, Pray, Love, the moment where she speaks to God the first time, braking down on her bathroom floor, crying.. She explains why she calls it, ‘God’ the end of that section has a line, “What kind of God do you believe in?” my answer is easy: “I believe in a magnificent God.”” Yes. Just, yes. Elizabeth Gilbert did a fantastic job describing how and why she prays and why it’s to God. I can relate 110%. God is also a comfortable name for me. Either way, THANK YOU to God, who has helped me through the best and the worst this life could give me. Thank you for continuing to give me a chance to make myself better, and be better to others. Thank you for always being there, even though I’m a terrible listener sometimes. Thank you for continuing to be patient with me – even though I still struggle with that virtue. Thank you, too, for teaching me in the past year about the many things we don’t know, and how it has made me realize, to just do me.. because thats all I can do. And that those who judge me – fail to look at themselves first. This in turn, made me look at myself as well.. first.. before potentially judging. And of course, thank you, to God and the universe for always keeping me on track – and for providing a beautiful world to look at. More so, for teaching me to appreciate the simple things – seasons, first snow fall, sun sets and sun rises, rainbows, rain, all the things nature gives us – it really is a beautiful life.

10: yoga: Although there are only like 2 instructors where I practice that allow me to use yoga for my benefit, the practice itself I am extremely thankful for. It allows me to not think, and provides a great practice of mind/body connection that I have a hard time finding in other activities. It’s my form of meditation – even though I practice Bikram which ultimately is just working out in a sauna and sweating profusely – it allows me to find calmness in my hectic emotional frame. It’s sort of amazing how much anxiety I can let go of after a class. I just wish I had time to go more often..

11: wine: Need I say more? Thank you to all the grapes in the world that make this amazing beverage which helps me keep my sanity, allows for great dates, great conversation, and the best booze while you are eating well. 😉

12: coffee: Ok here’s another. Haha.. Whats that quote? “Lord give me coffee to change the things I can change, and wine to accept the things I can’t.” So really this goes hand-in-hand with wine. 😉 Another thing I thank coffee for is the fact that it calms me. I know it’s strange, but I can drink coffee before bed.. and nothing relaxes me more than a good cappuccino after dinner. I don’t know what it is.. but coffee is my tangible anxiety release.

13: birthdays: duh. You knew this was coming.. Haha! Everyone should be thankful for Birthdays! I know everyone is sick of me saying this, but you can’t deny the truth: To celebrate another birthday, at the very least, means you can celebrate another day on this earth. Ultimately, being thankful for birthdays is just another way to be thankful for life.

14: Mish: Per usual, I think of you and cry #typical. Haha! Another one of my genuine people – thank you for keeping me close to you, even after I ran off to coast of the West.. You have been my greatest rock this past year. You are the one constant in my life that, even through a month or two of not speaking, can still keep me grounded through just a text for Facebook post. (I seriously only keep it for you – I’d get rid of it otherwise) I don’t know how we do it, but it’s true, just thinking of you makes me better. You always know what to say – because, like me, you get it. You take time to understand. You never tell me what I want to hear, and not even necessarily what I need to hear either.. it’s just.. the Truth. #loveyou xoxo ❤

15: flowers: I mean, how can anyone NOT be thankful for flowers. They are a beautiful, living reminder that the universe is amazing and filled with wonderful things. I have never seen anyone who either finds a flower, or was given one, that didn’t light up even just a little.

16: fairytales:  My goodness, I am SO thankful for fairytales. As a hopeless romantic, fairytales are a non-negotialble. In fact, everyone should read this when you get a chance: http://thefickleheartbeat.com/…/11/02/why-fairy-tales-exist/ You’re welcome.

17: Stevie Ray: Yes, Stevie, I am so thankful for you! Although we met only once (the first year I moved to SoCal) you have been a part of my spiritual life every since. From that day you made me tear up talking about my life and spirituality, to now, with me tearing up just typing this! Haha.. your spirit has been with me in tough emotional times. Even the moments I chose not to ask for your prayers, I know you are/were at least thinking of me. Thank you for being my spiritual soldier, and I pray for the best for you and your journey. ❤

18: country music: Although I love country anyway, with going through a breakup the past couple months, country music really spoke to me. I had a new appreciation for the story-telling that comes with the music. Comparatively, it is way more realistic for my breakups, and how I am in general, vs other types of music that embrace threats, revenge, fighting, drama, torture, manipulation, sleeping with friends – or just sleeping with everyone.. I can go on – and not gonna lie, those other songs are sort of fun, but just not my style and how I realistically deal with my relationships (of any kind really).

19: Sweet Elle Cafe: My goodness.. for those who know me, do I even need to explain this?! Haha.. best.cafe.Ever. Thank you, thank you, for just being there, and not sucking. Haha 😀 You have the best baristas, best coffee options, best atmosphere, and with the updates and re-models, it’s even cozier. I remember the first time I ever stepped into this little cafe – theres a bookshelf wall filled with books that I stared at.. and I never wanted to leave – but I came about 15min before closing haha so, well, I had to leave. But now this place is like home. I’m glad everyone knows my name and this is my version of Cheers. I’m thankful for Grace, the owner, for having the vision and dream to run this cafe – because people like me, who need a second home.. and good coffee.. really, REALLY, appreciate it. I should also do a mini shout-out.. it’s only right.. without Daniel, I never would’ve known about this place – so thank you too, to Daniel for the recommendation. 🙂

20: Michelle: My hairdresser. Yes, I am VERY thankful for you! Haha 🙂 I moved to SoCal and began a new life, new job, new doctors, new cafes, new hairdresser.. Well, my first experience was a butchered job that cost me over $100 just for me to cry for about 4 month. It felt like forever before I even had the nerve to look for someone new. And I’m so happy the stars aligned and I found you. You saved my locks, and fixed the awful cut that made me look like my 6th grade class photo. Not only that, but color my hair to perfection as well. The best thing about you is your soul. It’s so beautiful, considerate, and honest. I’m so happy I get to see you every month.

21: Sarah: She waxes me. Haha, I know some of you reading this are like.. Really Kara!? But, yes, really. Again, moving to an entirely new state where my normal product and services are now 10,0000-mi away (I clearly exaggerate), was/is very hard. And this, was probably the worst service to look for. For those of you who are waxing enthusiasts as myself, this isn’t something you just find and are like – oh yah, eeny, meeny, miney, mo! I’ll just ‘try you out’! No.. it’s like finding a doctor. If someone is looking at you like no everyday person looks as you, you want them to, well.. for one, not be creepy, and two.. not be creepy. Sarah is awesome, the best thing about her is that, unlike other estheticians I’ve had in the past (who were still good, don’t get me wrong) she has real conversations with you to make this somewhat awkward experience, well, not so awkward.

22: the sun: I don’t know if I even need to write much about this. Everyone should be thankful for the Sun, especially if you live, or have ever lived in the NorthEast (Vitamin D!). Thank you, for literally making my world go ’round.. and for making the sky beautiful.

23: pain: Yes, pain. Whats that amazing quote from Grey’s Anatomy, “Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop.” Exactly. I have felt a lot of pain this year, physically and emotionally. Physically, it has taught me how much I can do with myself and how much my mind is involved with strength. Emotionally, I’ve learned to be more appreciative, patient, and stay humble.. This way, everything is a happy surprise.

24: Eric & Amy: I am so thankful for the past two years being able to live the closest to my brother than I have in a long time. You see, he’s in the Army, and just recently I’ve been able to visit twice a year compared to my usual once-every-other-year. What makes this even more thankful is being able to be a part in my nephew and nieces’ lives. It may be a small part, but at least they remember me now when I visit compared to the first couple of times, like when I met the twins for the first time.. were already 2! 😦 Anyway, I’ve learned a lot about my brother, and have been so grateful to see him raise a beautiful family, and even better, do this with his amazing wife. Seriously, I am so thankful for Amy too because, I have never met a more determined mother-of-4 who runs like a champion, looks amazing, and all the while is home-schooling the kiddos, getting another (you heard me, another!) degree, and being a wife & mother. I’ve said this a bazillion times about Amy, but it’s true – If I was seriously just half as determined and focused as she is, I’d be doing way better things in my life, and look damn good too. So thank you for proving that even with some of the hardships the military throws at you with raising a family and making ends meet, you both are able to do this, and although it may not be easy, you make it look that way. Thank you for being amazing people to ‘look up to’ in my adult life.

25: the ocean: My first love. I’m thankful because it is the one constant I have always had access to my entire life. It’s a part of me. I grew up with it in the West.. learned with it in the East.. and now I find comfort with it.. back in the West. Since I was a child, I have loved the ocean and all that it entails – sand, rocks, the comforting sound, and the mysterious depths. The ocean is fascinating to me. In one hand, it’s where I go to play, and relax, and even cry and meditate. On the other hand, it scares me to no end, not because I’m a bad swimmer, but more so the uncontrollables. Currents, waves, sudden deep pools, so many unknowns that can literally swallow you up. It has been a great metaphor to life.

26: Paul:  OH.MY.GAWWWD. Paul, I seriously have no words to describe the appreciation I have for you in the last year and three months that we have been living together. Well ok, I have a few 😉 I am so absolutely thankful that you put up with me to start. Haha.. and that you are so giving, and helpful, and considerate. You are constantly thinking of others. I’m not gonna lie, there are plenty times where I’m annoyed with you 😉 But aside from my occasional bitchiness, you seriously have done nothing but try and help make my life better. I can’t name many people who are happy – and willing! – to go and get a drink with me when I am red-faced angry. I also don’t know many people who drive back home to make juice for unappreciative guests.. that you barely know for goodness sakes! #gah! I am just so thankful that we are friends.. and that it’s you who is on my emergency contact list.. haha. You are seriously the most caring person I have ever met, and not just to me, but to every single person in your life – from friends to family – I swear your goal in life is to make them ALL happy.. ALL at the same time! I have no doubt that you would probably succeed in that anyway, you’ve probably already done the math to support it 😉 So thank you.. thank you for being you.. and being awesome.  Anyone who has been lucky enough to have met you should be thankful. And if they aren’t.. well then.. they just suck.

27: genuine people: If you have ever been lucky enough to speak to someone who is genuine, man does it seriously change your perspective on life. So often do people ask the simple question of: “How are you?” Many of these people you consider friends.. and more times then not, they really don’t care.. it’s just an obligatory question. Shame isn’t it? Why do people ask questions when they don’t even care for the answer? Or worse even, begin to lecture you when they don’t get the answer they want. Well, please believe me when I say this, but when you do talk to someone who asks, even that simple question, and it’s a genuine request.. your heart flutters. It’s strange. You no longer have to whip out the (sorry for my language, but it’s true) bullshit answer of, “I’m good!” You can actually answer with how you actually feel. And I do understand that sometimes we are just ‘good‘. But more times than not, there is some aspect in your life that isn’t.. but yet generally speaking, bringing that detail up makes you a debbie downer – or causes discussion on ‘how to make you NOT feel that way’. Point is, THANK YOU to those who actually mean it. Thank you for providing yourself as an outlet for a possible miserable response. Thank you for just plain caring.

28: reading/writing: I love both of these and am so thankful for them for the mere fact that both provide a chance to get away. It’s an outlet to get away from the world for a minute. To escape into a story and either lose yourself in a character by reading, or let go a little of yourself by writing. Thank you for giving me an exit from this ‘real’ life and making me a mini fangirl.

29: James: I guess I should be thankful for the one I love, Haha..! Thank you for teaching me how to be patient.  Thank you for having a beautiful soul and giving me a opportunity to be a part of understanding it. Thank you for this inexplicable friendship/relationship we have because you made me see that it only matters to us and no one else needs to understand it. Thank you for enlightening me with a whole new meaning about saying ‘Sorry’. Mind. Blown. Thank you for teaching me about fitness and always answering my random questions about the shelf-life of ground-beef, or the carb percentage of an apple, haha.. #seriously. Thank you for breaking my heart. Sounds crazy, but without that I never would have learned what my heart was capable of. And of course, thank you for being you. I have never met someone so determined (and stubborn haha) to live life on their own terms than you. I can argue a million ways on the pros and cons to that, but it doesn’t matter. You do you.. and that’s what makes you amazing.

30: ME!: I’m just amazing. The End. Haha, but really I am so thankful for myself. I am thankful that I am strong enough not to conform to societal norms. I am thankful for being a sarcastic, hysterical, and sometimes bitchy person. I am thankful that I am a good person, that I am thoughtful, and that I am considerate of others even though sometimes people may take advantage of that. I am thankful that I love unconditionally even though people think that’s crazy. Because, thats not crazy, thats what love is supposed to be like. I am thankful that I know my limits and realize the people who are worth keeping close, and learning when to just close the door.. but always keeping the window open.. (only some of you get that 🙂 ) I am so thankful of the lives that I have touched, and more so, those who have touched mine.  I am thankful for being an original (I know there aren’t a lot of people out there like me) and I’m thankful for being a optimistic-realist. And I am so thankful that I love myself. Without me, I can’t love others, or flowers, or coffee, or owls..

 

 

To summarize, I am thankful for the people in my life. I am extra thankful to the genuine ones. I am thankful for the simple things in life, and thankful for the things I don’t understand. I am just downright thankful for life. I am thankful for today, yesterday, and definitely tomorrow.. because those are never a definite. Just, thank you. Everyday, Thank You.

And of course, a special THANK YOU – to this blog, and to all my readers.. you definitely don’t have to read my crap all the time, and all the posts that have sucked. But you do. I just hope there’s at least one in there that you have enjoyed, or learned from, has inspired you, or at least smiled from. Thank you.

 

Happy Thanksgiving – remember to be thankful everyday ❤

Cheers!