In response to Selena Gomez’s new song: Lose You to Love Me (not like this actually needs a response from me, like I’m some reputable critic, but you’ll see where I’m going with this, lol) it got me thinking about.. gasp! Relationships. (#SATC)

Now, if you’ve read anything on this page, you already know that love and relationships are a large part of my writings, because well, I believe that you need at least one of them to feel fulfilled in life. So this Selena song, as much as I have enjoyed other works of hers in the past, this one is OK. I mean I don’t dislike it by any means, but I also don’t think its AMAZING.

However, I do like the chorus, and the entire song itself holds a lot of truth that many of us don’t ever really think about. I have been in Selena’s spot (per the idea of the song of being left and heartbroken etc..) But I have also been on the Beibs side also. We forget that life changes constantly within seconds, never mind days, which is why those who are in HEALTHY, (I emphasize this for a reason) long-term relationships are #goals to most people.

I know people who have fallen in love and been married within months, and they are still together. I know many people that have been in longer relationships than most married people, and then “finally” get married. I know a lot of people in between and some who never get married. Call it timing, God, the universe, kismet, whatever.. but relationships are so malleable that it really does feel like a higher power keeps people together or pulls them apart.

Point is, when I have been the Selena, it sucks, obvi. You hurt, try and find reason, anything to make the hurt go away. But when I have been Beibs, it also sucks. Because I’m one of those crazy people who remembers what Selena feels like. And it’s a crazy thing when you actually sit down and recall how each side has felt when you have gone through them.

The Selena in us wants to fix and make everything better, make it work, there’s always hope right? The Beibs in us wishes we could clearly articulate the emotional rollercoaster that is finding something that sparks those internal fireflies again. Whether those pretty flames are found in alone time and personal growth, or a new person.

I feel like absolute crap when I realize what was, is no longer what I need. 1) the other person rarely ever understands 2) why should I hate myself for taking care of myself?

When I’ve been Selena, I have actually thought of the other person and the times where it has been reversed. Honestly it makes it worse, because you realize the likelihood of resolution in the present day is non-existent. Funny how life goes so fast, yet things like relationships can take time. The sad paradox of life.

Anyway, although I was hoping for more out of this song, it pulled all the feels of both sides of relationships. Because in the end no matter who broke up with who, and who is happier in the aftermath, both parties are at fault. Relationships involve two people, so unless one of them was an extreme case of abuse or cheating, the normal dissolution of any ‘ship involves both.

Take from this a reminder of putting the other person in perspective. While we might be happy, they may be hurting, and vise versa. And you have to remember, just because you may not be the happy one now, remember a time when you were and realize both sides are still difficult. For me, it only hurts because I am no longer what makes that person happy.. but that doesn’t mean I wish for them to be miserable. #bekind

You can’t fill from an empty cup, so take care of yourselves and don’t be afraid to stand by your needs. Keep chasing those fireflies and I hope for everyone that there will be someone waiting for you with a jar trying to catch them with you ❤

xoxo